furnal

[dangous mind]

I went over this over and over again last night. It was soooo hard to stop. I listen to music as I'm doing all this in my head. Some days it's a different one but this one was last night.

 

I'm in a church service with my best friend/mom and she dies on me. Her husband at the time is with us, and he has to rush her outside and take her to the hospital. We ran out of the serivce while the pastor is still preaching, I go out with my mom's husband. I'm in a wheelchair, in real life so I couldn't go with him. So I go outside with him to his car while he is putting his wife in his car. He gives me a hug and tells me he'll call me. At some point I get to the hospital and my mom/best friend tells me to come to her. So I do, and she tells me DON'T DO IT AGAIN. I just tell her I won't, don't leave me Mama. In some of them a friend is with me and my mama tells them to take care of me and not to leave me, and hold me the way I like it. Make sure she doesn't do it again.

 

I just roll play over and over again sometimes the same line all night. I get so tired sometimes by the end of the day. I try and stay away from music but doesn't always help. I just moved to a new state so it will take awhile to really keep busy and find a volunteer job. Then in some of my other daydreams a guy is coming after me with a gun and I'm having to save his daughter.