Your childhood and levels of social interaction

[Eretaia]

Hey guys. In terms of social interaction, how would you describe your childhood? Did you spend a lot of time playing alone? Were you lonely? Socially awkward? Or a normal kid who had a lot of friends and liked to engage with other children?

When I was a kid, I adored being socially involved but my parents brought me up as if I'd been a Buddhist hermit, lmao. Other kids never came over and I'd always end up playing alone and watching lots of cartoons because there wasn't anyone else around - later, it was precisely cartoons that triggered my MD. I don't remember feeling lonely but I know I did long for social interaction back then. When I entered puberty, I started noticing social awkwardness and it's when my MD appeared.

 

Also, do you think that partial deprivation of social interaction could play a role in onset of MD?

 

 

[greyartist]

Spent allot of time alone, few freinds, no "BFF"s mostly aquaintences. But I am an extreme introvert, I believe I was born with that personality so it is normal for that to be the way I was as a kid.

[Gina Black]

That sounds A LOT like my story. I wanted to have many friends, but my school (till my 14) was too far from home. My friends lived equally far, so my mom had to drop me by their homes, and there was always a time limit on these rare visits. At school we only had 2-3 short breaks, so I rarely had the luxury of having proper fun with others. Gradually I learned to have fun by myself, and became socially withdrawn, with only 1-2 close friends.

But it was also because of my character. I were strange. Since my 3-4 yrs, I were a passionate reader, and rarely watched TV-so I couldn't relate well to the ways kids of my age usually communicated with. For example, Barbies and TV shows meant nothing to me. Also, I were the type that wanted to have their way, so I wouldn't go out of my habits just to engage in things only others liked. I still wated to have friends, though, and ended up with depression.  My parents got me to a kids' psychologist because of it. 

I'd say my friendship troubles made my MD stronger, and my MD made friendship troubles more serious. It was a circle.

[M Hunter]

I can't really remember much because quite a lot of my memories seem to be in third person i.e me watching myself from afar. I was a very hyperactive, imaginative kid and people seemed to really love me for that, especially my sisters mates who were about 8 years older than me. So when I was very little I would usually follow my sister and her mates around and they welcomed me in but at the same time I was never on an equal level as them.
I was always my sisters younger sibling, never a friend, so they put up with me and let me join in but I could tell that they would get a bit annoyed when I was constantly around.

This has been the case for most of my life really that the people I have looked up to the most and admired have never accepted me on the same level as them so I've always been very submissive and even as an adult I naturally feel my thoughts and feelings come second. So perhaps for me as a child I went off into my own world because there I could either be the same as all my characters or better.
But as I have mentioned before I would say from my earliest memory, which is from maybe 2-3 years of age, I preferred my own company and even though I appeared very lively, inside I felt a great deal of confusion about the world and probably at age 5 I didn't want to be a part of this world as it didn't fit me. I think there's a whole bunch of reasons why things ended up the way they did for me and I think a large part is just down to my nature so it's hard to get to the bottom of this issue.

[taffle]

When I was a childhood, I was very social; I could do brave things without caring what other people say about me. But I was also very immature, more so than other kids my age. Many times, I made mistakes but didn't really learn from them. I guess I was a late bloomer.

But when I got to middle school 7th grade, I found out about meditation and my behavior started to change...

[Rashomon Effect]

I definitely agree with you, Elude, that a person, at some point,  is going to have to leave the past behind and move forward. However, for many people there is trauma unresolved and they don't understand how it fits together with their thought patterns or addiction. For them to understand the origin of their problem, it allows them to see that it was not their fault; that what  led to years of misery and or addiction or odd behavior or odd thought patterns was due to a circumstance or situation beyond their control. It often allows them to forgive themselves.

To overcome addiction and many negative thought patterns, a person must understand the origin of the problem is not their fault, but it is their responsibility to change their life.

It sounds easy to tell another person to forgive themselves, but we are often more critical and demanding  of ourselves than of others. Some addictions or thought patterns, on their own,  just don't make sense and seem frivolous, not only to others, but also to the person afflicted. That leads to guilt which leads to depression and self loathing which leads to a need for comfort...which leads to indulging in addiction. Or, it could lead to an escalation of negative thought patterns.

I honestly believe it has a lot to do with whether a person is or is not an analytical thinker. An analytical mind is not going to be satisfied until it understands the why.

EludeMyFantasies said:

"I'm not big into the why or how. I think just acknowledging the problem and learning to overcome it in the now worked best for me."

 

[Rashomon Effect]

I don't want Eretaia to feel we have highjacked her post about childhood and levels of social interaction, so I will start a different post about rehashing the past.

[Eretaia]

Rashomon Effect, oh no, don't worry! :)

[Rashomon Effect]

Oh Good, Eretaia, I'm glad we did not offend. :)

Eretaia said:

Rashomon Effect, oh no, don't worry! :)

[charm]

I was the socially akward kid with no friends, I did however get a group of friends once I started highschool and I am still friends with them today (at 27 years old). I am not very good at making new friends so tend to cling to those I made in the past. It seems I am a bit of a socaially akward adult which is probably why I have been indulging so much in my fantasy life lately.

My MD started as a child, I was very lonely growing up. My parents were only present in a physical sense, I have never had a close relationship with them and got the feeling early on that they indured us rather then enjoyed us. My older brother used to torment me on a daily basis, his day was not complete until he had made me cry at least once. His bullying was physical, emotional and sexual and I felt very alone with my problems. After a while my Mother just didnt want to hear about it anymore and she would tell me to deal with it myself. So I did, by shutting myself away in my room and pretending my life was different. I remember comming home from school, pushing my bed against the door to lock him out, shutting the window and curtains (to keep him out, yes he was that persistant!) and just imagining my life away. It started by playing with my dolls but I soon learnt that I could imagine myself as one of the characters in my stories. My daydream world quite quickly became better then any reality I had ever expereienced.

So I guess for me it started as a defense mechanism. An over active imagination that saved me from what would have otherwise been a horrible childhood.