When Other People Know You're Daydreaming

[Susan P]

I've been here for about a week now, and I've noticed a theme of secrecy:  people talking about how they haven't told anyone about their MD, how no one else knows they daydream, and so forth.

This puzzles me, because other people have known about mine as long as I can remember.  My mother, my father and stepmother, teachers in school:  all of them knew I was DDing (and worried about it to various extents) and called me on it.  Most of the people who knew were at least somewhat supportive because they saw it as a sign of creativity, but my parents still worried about my lack of social skills.  Without exactly trying to, I got better at hiding my MD as I got older, perhaps partly out of a sense that it was less acceptable in a grown woman than in a small child.  I'm 55 now, and no one's called me on since my late twenties, when a lover said sharply, "Where are you?  You're a million miles away.  Come back."

Do any of you fall into this pattern?  Is there anyone else here who got routinely busted for DDing as a kid, and has gotten better at hiding it as a grownup?     

[Richard Quest]

This is a tough one for me... As a child I often confined my day dreams to the playground and at home. I was fortunate enough to have enough self control. I hid the fact of my day dreaming from everyone except my closest friends and my brother. Even today, they are the only people that know. I learned to confine my day dreams to drawings on a page and words on the computer, thus making it easier to hide. (other than the fact that my room is covered from floor to ceiling in drawings making it obvious). My parents weren't very nosy about my drawings so they never asked about them. Now that I'm away at college, my dreams have confined themselves to an even smaller moleskine notebook. I've been able to hid it well from my new friends but sometimes I slip into a day dreaming state when I'm with them. 

[Roel]

Nah I'm awefull at hiding it. I've always been. Even if they can't see I'm daydreaming, they can see the consequences of it.

[Sarah]

Hello, in my experience none of my family or my friends know that I have MD. I haven't told anyone about it, I feel ashamed to admit it to anyone but myself. But I have been called out more times than I can count because I would just have a vacant look on my face and not responding to people when they try to talk to me. I also lack social skills, my family and school teachers were very worried. I actually had to go into this special group to learn how to interact with people and make friends.

[Lezah Walker]

Yes I have and now I'm still hiding it. My family use to call me space cadet when I was younger Lol and now my husband ask me " what r u thinking about" or " you r not listening to me" it's really bad when I'm driving or riding with someone.

[Hyapatia]

I haven't told anyone at all and no one ever noticed. I recently told my partner and she doesn't believe me. It takes over my life.

[goner]

i'm determined to hide it because it's pretty embarrassing. 

[Susan P]

@Leah:  Yeah, I've been called a space cadet too!  @Hyapatia:  See, here's the thing I don't get.  If it's taking over our life, how can other people not notice?  I mean, I've had people not notice too -- but I think that's part of why I sometimes feel invisible.  I can be having outrageous adventures in my head two feet away from someone, and they're oblivious to the fact that I'm tuned out.  I wonder if we become so attached to our DD characters partly because they notice what's going on with us, you know?

[Lezah Walker]

My husband always ask me what I'm thinking about. I always say nothing. It keep me happy and not in their world. It's sad because it's not reality. I want to do better but I'm depressed if I can't daydream. I'm happier there.

[Susan P]

I'm often happier there, although sometimes I daydream about sad things (which I know is weird).  But if we daydream to build a wall against pain, we can't let love in either -- and that is sad.  I wish I were more comfortable letting real people love me, even though that's riskier than being loved by imaginary characters.