Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I usually adopt characters and plots from books and movies and whatnot and tweak them to my satisfaction. I have tons of different plots of varying lengths that I reuse whenever I feel like it. The point of view in my daydreams varies, too; sometimes it's from my perspective, and sometimes I'm not even in the dream at all, so I don't have any particular preference towards 1st- or 3rd-person perspective. I like variety, I guess.
First off I will say I know my day dreams aren’t real. And I am ashamed to admit it. But I have been very curious to see if I was the only person who had this. So here goes. I usually day dream about me. That people are watching me on some secret group monitor. It’s a secret group that I am in, not knowingly, and they monitor me before we are introduced to the group. Once in the group we all live in a huge mansion and live together. Mostly it starts out with them watching me in my day to day activities. And the people in charge think I am very special, beautiful, smart, etc. The group that watches me are male around my age and they find me desirable once they view me on the monitor. There are other women in the group that are monitored but they have been viewed before me, so I really don’t know who they are. In the past its friends from my childhood that I was close with and no longer speak to. Sometimes it’s just them watching me all day. Other times I arrive at the mansion and am introduced to the men in person and interact with them and the other women. If I day dream enough, it progresses into a life there: where we have unlimited funds, travel the world and develop relationships and so on. But most of the time, it is centered on me and what goes on with me mainly. Like I am the main female character and most important. If I get bored with what is going on, I usually imagine that some drama or dangerous situation is involving me. I’ve had day dreams where I was kidnapped, raped, almost murdered, etc. I know they aren’t real. But I seem to escape into it. It makes it hard to sleep because I will stay up thinking about it and developing more of it in my head. Also I have a very hard time getting up on time because my dreams become addicting and seem better than my real life. Sometimes I do laugh or cry and tend to pace and walk up and down my stairs when doing so. If my roommate is home and sees me doing it, I guess acting weird or walking up n down the stairs I just tell them I forgot something down stairs or can’t sleep. It affects my sleep and being productive at times. I know I am depressed but I don’t want to take meds for it. I would rather have a real happiness then experience a fake one. Not sure what else to say.
I daydream mostly about two main categories I like to break into "reality based" and "fantasy based. The reality based is about my real life, I DD about getting married, having kids, my dream home, etc. Mostly its all fantasy based but mostly that is about being a famous celebrity, usually a tv actor who is very well liked, beautiful and married to another move/tv star who is also very likable and handsome. In those fantasies I accept awards and spend a lot of time creating fake movie or tv show scenarios to put my "actress" into. I also dream about all kinds of other fantastical ideas and storylines.
For most of my life when I got hooked on a storyline I would keep repeating it and adding to it for a long time, sometimes years but lately, for the last year or so, I've been flipping around between 10 to 12 storylines. They range from very fantastical (Living in a magical community like Hogwarts) to science fiction inspired (time travel, space travel) and more realtistic (living on a farm, being a cop/detective). The main element that stays common is that my character is the hero of the story and she usually falls in love with a main love interest and sometime there is another love interest to make things more dramatic. Sometimes there is even another girl who I have to "fight" with to get the guy. I don't really like this constantly flipping around and wish I could go back to focusing on one main story that maybe I could write down and develop.
I DD about the family and friends I've created, including my fictional spouse and five children. My spouse is my best friend and soulmate, and my children are almost perfect, except for the next to youngest, who is a prankster. :)
Most of my daydreams are very reality based, and usually have something to do with interpersonal relationships, future hopes and dreams, and fears. Usually they're focused in on a crush or love interest. These days, it's a lot of day dreams about having a baby with my boyfriend, dreams about the business we want to start and fears about him dying.
I like Science Fiction, so I have this world far away from earth that I get sucked into one day. Suddenly some kind of light bubbles/spheres start appearing on earth and if you happen to step into them, you disappear. First it is just a few cases, some people think those who saw it were drunk or crazy, but suddenly several hundred thousand or a million people disappear from Earth.
We come out on some other planet far away. Many of us are unlucky - they pop out in the middle of the ocean or a desert or a in a snow storm and die. I find myself in some kind of forest with a few other people from completly different countries.
etc...etc... I´ve been developing this scenario for over 30 years. The other world is very huge, has many different species, languages and cultures. I do all kinds of jobs, get sold as a slave, learn new trades, make all kinds of friends. Obviously I fall in love a few times.
The people on the other world know that there is some link to earth and that every few years people show up there. But apparently our time lines don´t move parallel. So in the end I have spent over 80 years on that world, but one day I can go back home and only two years have passed. (How convenient..:) )
I then imagine what it is like to come back to my old world, old life, friends and family with all those new experiences (and a much healthier, better looking body).
I start out in that world as the real me, but quickly get an "upgrade" to a healthier body, I learn new skills and at times become quite successful although I am always just looking at a way to go back home. I think my personality is more or less the same, I try to imagine how I would react if I was suddenly in such a bizzarre situation. I take on a different name with my new look, but I still have many of my old friends from earth.
Sometimes I have scenes where I am extremly powerful and well known, but most of the time I am just trying to deal with a complicated situation hoping to just have a little peace of mind and quiet. I also imagine myself in some kind of Zen like Hogwarths school / university where I spend many years learning skills. And then I spend years alone on a mountain or an island.
Or I am back in a bustling city, trying to make a living with a small shop, or with some kind of simple skill - I paint pictures and sell them, I work in a household or live with a family, I work in a library.
Because I come from earth many people discriminate against me, they consider us inferior and make fun of our "ugly, smelly and polluted" home world.
Anyway, too many plots to describe here, but it really is my very own TV show that has been going on in my mind for over 30 years. Characters come and go, develop, have children, die.
Maybe I should try writing some of those stories down one day.