Where wild minds come to rest
I just started college and I live on campus grounds. I'm already struggling with living somewhere else because my room was my comfort zone but I also realized how much my room made me feel comfortable with my MD. Most of my MD happened in my room but now that i'm living away and have a roommate (not the same room but same little apartment area) I feel like i'm supressing my MD and it's giving me anxiety bc I can't let it flow. This is making me moving out for the year so much harder to deal with.
Yeah, most of my MDD happened in my home and bedroom. Whenever I am staying in unfamiliar places, especially around non-family, I realize that I've got to quit it. I stayed at a motel in New York City with a few college students. I was sketching and listening to music on my upper bunk bed, another girl slept in a lower bunk underneath me. Sometimes, I'd have an imaginary friend listen to my every day struggles, so I remembered a stern pep talk I had with my dad back at home, in which I randomly spoke out "He's right." Anyway, the girl below me freaked out and cocked her head out of her bunk to look up at me. "You said he's right. Whose right?" she asked with a curious voice. "My dad," was my only reply. "Ok-eeey," she responded, appearing flabbergasted.
It's embarrassing, but whatever I do in the privacy of my bedroom is the safest place to do MDD. Otherwise, everyone will just think I'm coo-coo.
It's not weird to have withdrawal! Like Silver Swan, I've shared hotel rooms with people and having to clamp down on MDD in those circumstances is hard. When I was married, I had to constrain MDD to specific places, like the bathroom or my car. You'll identify the spaces and times when you can indulge in daydreams.
hey im sorry youre finding this sohard
im going to uni by september and there was a chance that id have a room mate so i freaked out xD anyway turns out ill be living alone after all, which was a relief so I kinda understand what youre feeling rn.
i really hope u find a good place to live in and if you dont I think you can still try to day dream in your room since u dont share a room and hey maybe its for the better? maybe this will make you study more?
anyway I hope you find a solution that makes you comfortable.
I'm actually starting Uni in a couple of days but not living on campus, I think I'd die if I can't daydream and I know exactly how you feel. My cousins came to live with us two years ago, because their parents were overseas and they were two girls and a boy. The girls were around my age and the boy younger- anyway I use to daydream upstairs where we had an open hall and a living too where i can listen to music and walk freely, but then when these girls moved in, I felt watched and self couscous and overall uncomfortable. Like I can't walk around anymore with my headphones in daydreaming cuz it would look weird for them and so I started becoming so horrible. God I'm so embarrassed but I have never felt so mean, evil and twisted. Like I made their life hell and was a basic mean girl- not because I hated them but because they made it so hard for me and I was sooo moody not being able to daydream. I would spend 8 plus hours daydreaming and then I was lucky if I had an hour. Anyway I realized how twisted an horrible it was when they left, because it ruined our relationship. Now we're good thank god, but it was so twisted and just horrible, it was one of my worst times, and to feel so low annoyed and irked at the tiniest thing because i couldn't daydream made me realize how serious it is. So i tell you good luck lol but yea that's my thoughts.
If they saw you dancing and acting funny in your day dreams, they'd be a bit horrible and twisted. LOL. Bear with me, I experienced a past where I flashed my day dreaming ways in front of everybody. It was the worst mistake I ever made. All of them treated me like I was a freak.
I got caught by a family member once when I was fully in the DD, and when he brought it up I just ignored him. I've also gotten caught at work by a co-worker who had the most perplexed and confused on her face when I finally looked up and saw her. I really have to suppress at work, but since I started therapy I've gotten better at it.
I can't recall a time where a co-worker in every job I worked at didn't catch me laughing at my daydreams. I can't say that they were complex and confused, but they sometimes laughed back and wondered why I'm doing this. Except, there was this time I burst into laughs in the lunchroom at a store I worked at, and I abruptly scared a cashier worker who was sitting next to me. She didn't like me as person as it was, so she thought I was going nuts.