There are Others Like Me?!

[Shayna Marie]

I am Glad and Relieved that there are others out ther like Me. For a long time i literally thought i was the only one with MDD. I've had MDD since the age of six, but didnt know what was wrong with me nor knew what MDD was til the age of Twenty. Through that big gap of not knowing i went through deep , delt with low self-esteem, delt with a lot of anger within myself, was very insecure, and I withdrawed from Everyone. For years i thought i was Crazy, abnormal, and even mentally challanged, and it made me hate myself. I use to get really mad when i would catch myself going into a deep daydream, and abuse myself. I have been to many different therapist and tried to describe my symptons to them, but they all looked at me with confusion. Every last therapist that i went to didnt have a clue what mdd was, so they didnt recognize the symptons. A therapist once told me, "Well, If you dont like these daydreams that you go into, then STOP!" O___o If it was that easy, then i wouldnt of been sitting in his office. After finding out what MDD was, as an adult I've learned to accept MDD and Love myself ,even though my symptoms have gotten worse over the years. I dont let it bother me as much, even though it is severe. Basically anything can trigger my MDD. Tv shows, music, movies, a picture, a recent conversation; ANYTHING! Music definatley triggers it, i have thrown out my stero, and tried driving with the radio off to see if it would help; Not at all! Multiple times I have almost rear ended peoples cars because of my MDD. I have driven to places and dont even remember how i got there because my MDD. I am now a Junior with a social work major. I honestly have no idea how i made it through school, My Mdd would get so bad that i would miss a whole lesson in . Not many people know that i have MDD, especially my family and friends. I have gotten weird looks from people when they would catch me in a deep daydream and would see my lips moving, or smiling, or even laughing to myself. I get so deep into my daydreams that sometimes i even act them out, and would get sooooo embarrsed and feel ashamed when people would catch me. I tried to tell my mother about it, but she never took me seriously and just tells me that Im always in "La La Land". I have look at some websites and got some information on what some people use for treatment for MDD. Some have used Meds that are intended for people with ADD, some say that it helps keep them focused. Some have used meds that are for people with OCD, because its related to obsessive thinking. I just really hope that they do more research on Mdd and find a Cure for it. Well, im really glad to have found you guys and Im eager to hear about some of your stories, and learn more about MDD. :-)

[Shayna Marie]

Thanks! im sooo happy im not alone in this :-) i wish my mom was so Accepting like yours. i tried to tell my mom and she just rolled her eyes. smh But hopefully one day she'll come around and want to learn more Md.

[Shayna Marie]

Thanks! im sooo happy im not alone in this :-) i wish my mom was so Accepting like yours. i tried to tell my mom and she just rolled her eyes. smh But hopefully one day she'll come around and want to learn more Md.

[Good boy]

My fathers reaction is always the same. I told him that i have md, and i like to daydream,

he said me that you dont know what is real life when you working somewhere out there with salary that only enough to buy the food, you dont know how real life is hard, and except that you dreaming?

Absolutely misunderstood me.

[MckieM]

My father constantly bangs on my door and demand to know who I am talking to. My little brother goes around telling his friends and my young niece and nephew that I am crazy and talk to myself. My mother doesn't get it. I just discovered a name for it, and because everyone's symptoms are EXACTLY like mine, I know it can't be coincidence. MD is real.

It's  a real pain, too.

I find myself thinking of excuses for my behavior. If someone catches me laughing? I tell them I just had an interesting conversation with someone that I'm still laughing about it. If someone sees my mouth moving silently, talking to myself..I pretend to be chewing or exercising my "tight" jaws. If  I speak aloud, I keep a book nearby to pretend I am reading aloud from the book.  If someone catches me pacing, I pretend I am exercising.

 Dad: who are you talking to?

ME: no one, I am reading my book out loud.

[Chloe]

I had the same problem...when i was living with my mum, i had something near by me, like a book, or a laptop, or something..so it didnt look strange. How do you explain yourself, and how do youget them to understand, without them thinking your crazy, or just making you feel bad, or think your doing something wrong, whn its perfectly normal...whatever that means...but its true..like..its that thing where some parents wont quite get it. it's a way of copong, and a way of understanding ourselves and all sorts.

MckieM said:

My father constantly bangs on my door and demand to know who I am talking to. My little brother goes around telling his friends and my young niece and nephew that I am crazy and talk to myself. My mother doesn't get it. I just discovered a name for it, and because everyone's symptoms are EXACTLY like mine, I know it can't be coincidence. MD is real.

It's  a real pain, too.

I find myself thinking of excuses for my behavior. If someone catches me laughing? I tell them I just had an interesting conversation with someone that I'm still laughing about it. If someone sees my mouth moving silently, talking to myself..I pretend to be chewing or exercising my "tight" jaws. If  I speak aloud, I keep a book nearby to pretend I am reading aloud from the book.  If someone catches me pacing, I pretend I am exercising.

 Dad: who are you talking to?

ME: no one, I am reading my book out loud.