Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Ok, I have theory, I am interested to know peoples thoughts...
So, I personally have found that it is a emotional distancing technique. I think the brain uses it as a way to deal with painful emotions. I believe It is caused because people who suffer from the conditionhave very very sensitive dispositions and have not learnt a way to deal with the overwhelming emotionsthat is caused by everyday life. Also they have never learnt coping techniques for rejection.
1. Do you find a strong need to go into a state of maladaptive daydreaming in distressing situations, which may only be overwhelming for you and most people don't struggle with?
2. Do you find your daydreams are extra absorbing when you do go into them and you feel drained afterwards?
3. Most importantly do you find that AFTER you come out of the daydream, the situation you just experienced seems unreal and further away?
I think its a form of EMOTIONAL dissociation and I believe the cure would lie in psychotherapy. I think its triggered by a) a hyper sensitive reaction to emotions and b) a very unhealthy relationship with rejection and self esteem.
I think the brain does something to its perception of [a given situation] and in the process of maladaptive daydreaming it somehow applies dissociation and blocking techniques to quickly block out the painful or distressing emotions..... anyone follow me on that one? its fast acting and concious dissociation????? :D xx
This definitely doesn't apply to me. I did have a rough childhood, but I'm sure that didn't cause my MD. I'm sure it pushed me farther into it, though. As an adult, I don't daydream to escape negative emotions. In fact, when I'm panicking or depressed, I can't daydream. If I daydream when I'm depressed, I have depressing daydreams, which always make me feel worse. I think it's just how I am.
This is really interesting.... I have never really spoken about it with anyone....so why do you daydream? Just because you choose to not live in the real world? It's not emotional damage you just don't want to? :) Its an addiction that started out of choice? I've read a couple of posts and so many people are proud of their MD, and i wondered if its because it's so difficult to escape they maybe identified with it as a lifestyle. My mding is finally becoming a lesser part of my life, i desperatly sought to change it but, as with anything i had to change the person I was completely and that meant admitting an awful lot about myself and the emotional pain I was in. It meant comprehending things I had buried and comprehending the sheer scale of emotional trauma that happened to me. Going through the grieving process with the anger before realising I didn't have to be a victim if I didn;t want to and I was in control of my life. I'm control of who I am and who I become. I'm not saying its gone completely but its triggered for me by anxiety and being overwhelmed by living in the 'real' world. The more I face it the stronger....or more emotionally healthy I become, the less priority MD has for me, it's nice to begin to watch it fade away. I wondered if anyone else had the same process.... :D x
I also discovered I have ADHD which explains the emotional sensitivity and constantly feeling overwhelmed by so many small things....
I don't know. I was just born living in another world. My earliest memories are of lying around and daydreaming. I grew up in a fantasy world. I went deeper and deeper into it, and it's just part of me. I daydream less when I'm really busy and distracted, but I don't think I could ever stop.
1. I actually do not daydream when stressed, I need to be comfortable or at least calm. If I am not then I cannot focus on my daydreams.
2. Sometimes my brain feels a bit drained after daydreaming but most the time it makes me feel better actually, happy.
3. Not really
I agree with some of what you say, it definitely does help people cope with certain issues, but I think that there is a lot more to this. I think some people are proud of it because they have come to accept that this is a part of their life that may never go away and it also shows how creative people can be with their minds . (writing/drawing etc)
I do feel daydreaming obviously tries to fill a void people are missing in their real lives that they do not know how to fill.
This is definitely the case for me. The daydreaming for me is an escape from personal issues and an overall feeling of low self esteem. The me I've imagined while daydreaming is my ideal self, so it is a nice escape from the awful self esteem I deal with in real life. If I'm going through a rough situation in real life, my daydream will center around my "character" self dealing with an issue. The issues I daydream about is usually at a much larger scale than anything I've dealt with in real life. I cry a lot when I daydream. There's a lot of things in life I've never dealt with because of how I divert my emotions to my imagined story. I started doing this because of abuse and neglect I dealt with as a child. It's especially a habit based on loneliness. I create better than I've ever had in real life friends, boyfriends, parents, etc. So overall my daydreaming is a byproduct of bad feelings and depression. I daydream even when I'm in better moods, but I find I don't daydream when my social life and relationships are strong.
I'm not sure why I MDD now. I mean I always have, and i know how to put into control, and i got to a stage where I put it to a really good use ( fiction writing). But I'm wondering why can't I control it when my mind isn't busy working on something.
Right now I'm stuck with a conversation in my head, in which i make excellent arguments on foreign policy. I know this means that i'm just looking to belong to a group where my opinions matter and are heard - a sign that I'm subconsciously feeling undervalued
I would have to say that mine starts when I'm the calmest. I can't do it when I'm drunk, or when I'm very stressed. Can't when I'm in conversations/around friends either. When I'm feeling stressed, I completely shut that part of me down, and focus on bringing myself back to stability. If I'm tired, I tend to fall asleep MUCH quicker due to MD. If I manage to stay awake and supersede my tiredness, I have some of the best MD ever.
When I come out of a MD (depending on how it was), I tend to feel much happier. Almost like I'm high or something. I can thoroughly enjoy whatever it is I have to do that day, and push away my depression.
It's most certainly a form of emotional dissociation and in my case, a trigger event. Something in my past caused me to detract from society, from family and friends. It's also influenced by how you're feeling. I recall a time when I went on vacation, just a 3 day-er up north. It was the best 3 days of my life, spent with wonderful friends, and I didn't MD at all.
Not sure whether to consider this a gift, or a curse...
1 and 2 are correct for me. 3 is not. When I come back to the real world, the problem is still there, but it is worse because I have the added guilt of wasting days or hours ignoring the problem during which time sometimes it has grown but usually I just feel like a loser for wasting time. Say I've been procrastinating about doing a project that is really stressing me out. So I tell everyone to leave me alone all day long on Saturday so that I can get my project done. Instead, I spend the day living in my daydream. Come around Saturday night and my friends and families are all telling me about what they did for the day and I've done nothing. My project is still not done. Now I only have one day left to do it. So I lie and say I worked hard but didn't finish. Now I'm doubly stressed and feel regret. Plus I'm tired from the daydream. Sunday rolls around and I have to spend that day working since I didn't do it on Saturday. Sometimes I do, but usually I'll spend the entire morning in the daydream again. Then Sun PM, I'll get to work and do something serviceable but shoddy. Monday I have to refine it. I've wasted an entire weekend. Multiply this experience across decades, and think what I could have done with myself?
BTW, this is only one example that is on my mind because it's what happened this last weekend. But I don't want it to sound like I only daydream to procrastinate. This is just one of the many times I daydream.
I believe boredom was the start, and withing time it involved with our lives, which explains why people who have problems in they lives have it and others who think mdd is the only problem in they life's have it as well. I believe it was a tool, a toy perhaps, that we as children have created to entertain our selves in the moments of bordom, that is all