I can feel myself zoning out, and struggling to come back.

most of the time I feel half in half out, meaning - half inside my head, half present in the real world.

my inner world is an absolute illusion.

these things will never happen. sometimes I tell myself that the things I dream of everyday are my goals in life, though I know they comes from a traumatic place in order to help me better deal with reality by escaping it. so you see, this dreams aren't real. and now I'm not even sure what my real ambitions are. what I want to do in my life. 

I am in that time in life when you take a path, study something in university and hopefully make a career out of it. that time when you no longer have anything holding you back from becoming something great, and you need to make decisions regarding your future.  

in my mind I am on a stage performing, and it sets me free. then I'm making movies and having lunch with all this people I adore. when I'm driving, I'm a taxi driver in L.A driving famous actors around. and I have to say it all feels rather pathetic in retrospect. I feel pathetic. I dream of these things all day, everyday.

it interrupts my life. even having a conversation is hard.

what I need from you are tips of staying focused [other than pinching myself, it doesn't work and I can't effort therapy].

thank you.

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Man I feel you here. This is when I wished that wishful thinking worked for this kind of thing. Honestly the thing that helps me the most is writing down my DDs. I don't really know how this works, but it works for me, very well. I think it acts like a replacement for your DDs but your not addicted to writing like you would be daydreaming. It does come with a few downsides: you have to write often or else the effect will fade away, and withdrawals. MD is an addiction after all, one we tend to rely on for sleep and relaxation. I find it hard to sleep and stay asleep (melatonin can fix that) and I sometimes get lost in my desire to daydream. You know, if you really want to focus, this is worth a shot, and you may find it to be quite rewarding both psychologically and as an accomplishment.


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