Should we let MD affect our day to day life?

[M]

Hello everyone, 

I've been a daydream since a long time, the most i could remember is when i was 6 years old, i used to daydream about my favorite cartoon characters, i maybe a dreamer even before the age of 6 but i don't remember that. Now daydreaming and all is fine some suggest even normal people (non MDers) daydream but not excessively and they do have control over it,

One story that i remember, 4 years ago my college friend once told me he used to daydream while walking home after college, while walking his way back he used to daydream so he never knew when his time passed and he was home in no time though the distance from his home to college was considerably far, now the surprising part about this is that i never first told him that i suffer from MD or that i daydream excessively, i just casually asked him that doesn't he get tired walking home he could just take bus instead cause my home was quite far away from college so i used to travel in bus, then he told me about this, that he daydreams, he never specifically used the word ''daydream'' , as long as i could remember he said that he keeps on thinking about something, then i asked him what does he think about, he told me just anything random or happy, he also said he enjoy's it, he didn't mention what exactly but im sure he'd had been happy to tell me if i did ask more since we are good friends, but i didn't' wanted to dig deep too much. He's in mechanically engineering now and as per my observation he's much of a happy guy, i never seen him worried about exams, he's social, talks to almost everyone, a very happening person, he get's good grades, he's intelligent and innovative, he's his team once build a big robotic turtle as an engineering project which is certainly not easy since it's not a one day project it requires focus, dedication and time, i can never think of myself doing these kinda things cause it's requires a lot which i fail to deliver every time cause i do feel like doing things but half of my time is wasted cause of daydreaming, because once you take up a job/project plan to finish it in time it requires your focus to the very end of it, if you daydream or waste your time in between then the link of your focus is broken and things start to feel ugly and boring it feels that now there is no time to finish what we started and it's left half way, so that's not the case with him, he is a dedicated hard working guy but i still doubt till today that he did daydreamed, not just that but he daydreamed for a long time, that puts me into thinking did he really has a controlled MD and how does he use it to his benefits, he can DD whenever he wants without having to sacrifice on day to day tasks and priorities, I never asked him cause i honestly care less cause he's happy person that's all that matters, i don't wanna put him into thinking that this is a problem, that will be an unnecessary distraction for him. He got good grades at the end of his mechanical engineering diploma, he's doing internship now in a good company, next year he's gonna apply for degree in mechanical engineering. So it's all that matters. 

Now from this story many people  would say that he's not MD cause everyone ''thinks'' in general but i don't think that's just thinking, ill call it daydreaming cause he used to think and have scenarios all the way back home while walking that isn't normal people's capacity, what i mean to say is he used ''daydreaming'' to pass his time since walking is so boring! 

So it's likely possible that there are people who daydream but their daydreaming ability is in control which is why they never see it as a problem and never tend to do a research about it to get to this website. 

Do you guys think that taking a test on OCD can solve most of our problems?, cause i've seen people taking anti depressants for OCD, and eventually it fixed the problem for their DD issues, i never took any medication cause i don't want to be an addict to a drug even with doctors prescription but im just worried about my future life. I already screwed up a lot with my career cause of DDing. 

i just want to know by take a taking a treatment for OCD may solve problems, so that our future life is not affected cause of this craziness!  

[Roel]

I think your friend is a daydreamer, something that is very common and not bad. He is a person that daydreams a lot, and can stop whenever he wants. It is normal, the way it is suppost to be. After all for "normal people" daydreams aren't bad. They are joyfull and they have never had bad concequences for them. He is not however, a Maladaptive Daydreamer. Daydreamers are everywhere and it is completely normal, that is why it is so hard for us to convince people that what we have is serious. I have had people saying "what's the problem? they are just dreams, a lot of people dream a lot. it's normal and it is no excuse for [insert a massive faillure that I did because I couldn't stop dreaming here]!" :(

In "MD" it is noth the D that is the bad part. There is nothing wrong with daydreaming! It's the Maladaptive part that is evil! We lack selfconrtol, we go nuts and we cannot stop, and we don't want to stop! Afterall this way of life is alle we have ever known, if we say goodbye to are dreams, it would be as saying your lives goodbye.
Our MD could be a type of OCD, but than an obsession for daydreams. If OCD meds would help, than you should take them. (first get yourself tested if I you have OCD of course). The daydreams are a problem for us, because they take our life away, but the reason that the daydreams are there in the first place, dealing this damage, is somewhere else. It could be OCD, it could be trauma, it could be ANYTHING. fixing whatever made us lose so mutch selfcontrol, and whatever made us fall in love with things that don't exist, might very well fix our MD.

[Emma]

Yes all this sounds true to me.  Before my MDDing was so bad, I used to think about all sorts of things- what I was reading, my future plans, some problem or another I was working on, creative ideas I had, etc.  Sometimes little "normal" daydreams would pop up into this- like I'd imagine my life once this or that happened, or I'd have an imaginary conversation with someone else, etc.  The difference is the daydreams like that just ebbed and flowed with my other thoughts and with what was going on in my real life.  If something happened to snap me out of it or if the thoughts naturally ended, I'd probably never again think about what I had been daydreaming about.  I think this is how most people daydream and this is what they think of when you tell them you are daydreaming.

Yanne said:

No, I think there is a big difference from people who just like to "think" about things compared to us who chronically daydream our entire life away.  For example, my mom loves to learn things, so she will read a lot online to research and then give things some thought while she's doing other things.  She's never just idle in a quiet room.  Me on the other hand, will find my cave and hide just to have a session.  This means being alone, being in a room preferably darkened, and usually lie down - just to fantasize to what seems like no end.  I have wasted many days off just to do this.  I once looked back at my twenties and thought I threw my life away because I missed out on everything just to daydream.  Other people use thought to plan things or figure things out, or else just sit and wonder about things out of interest.  I will think about something senseless, yet creative, to calm and soothe me at all times.

I was once spending about four days straight in bed.  Two days were part of my weekend, and the other two I called in sick from work.  When I was ready to go a fifth day, I dragged myself out of bed to see my doctor to get some sense talked in to me to get out of bed.  She told me I had a form of depression - though no talk of MD was brought up since I didn't know that's what I had.  She just figured I had extreme issues with motivation and needed a pick-me-up pill.  It worked, but I couldn't really even "rest".  I never had my naps while on it, but I could barely sleep at night.  My sessions nearly stopped altogether, but the drug also prevented me from really missing them.

Looking back on it, it was a good experience to be on them just so I know, but I wouldn't go back on it again.  I was on for six months and stopped on my own without my doctor's instruction.  I felt as though the drug was wearing off anyway, and each time I needed a Rx renewal, she wondered if she should "up the dose".  I had the sense to know that this is how people get hooked.  I refused her to do this.  But after six months, the drug virtually did nothing for me anymore.  When I stopped, I could feel myself come down.  I felt my brain actually go fuzzy a bit on some nights.  I hated that feeling and knew it was the drug wearing out of my system, especially my brain, that I could actually physically feel it going away.  I could only imagine how weird it would have felt to come down off of a higher dose.  I was just on a mere 10mg of Cipralex. 

When I refused any more drugs, I have to thank the drug for what it DID do for me.  While I was up and alert, I instilled some better habits, such as getting out of bed every morning and making my bed.  Sounds simple, right?  But my unmade bed every day just looked too tempting to flop down in to and daydream.  I got out of the house and walked.  I did other things since my now-made bed was off limits.  So with time, these things just became a habit.  I needed that to learn how to do other things and wouldn't have done it if I didn't get my little kick-in-the-ass with my drug.

So the only thing I can recommend is to talk to you doctor and be totally honest with what is going on with you so they know if they prescribe you anything, it will be the right one for you.  There are so many anti-depressants out there, and be very wary of what dose you are prescribed.  Know your limits.

Your daydream and crush will not just *snap* go away.  It can come back or can never leave.  You have to consider that if something like this is a part of your life in your thoughts to manage it in a healthy way and enjoy it while you do it.  There are some MD sessions that can take your life away or get you in trouble by not focusing and causing harm (ie. crossing the street and not seeing a car coming), and there is an MD session that is understandably soothing.  At least by incorporating life, you have the opportunity to be social, do other things to busy your mind with, or talking to people to plan things ahead that actually take your mind off of your DD and work on real things.  There should be a balance.  Once you find that your real life is taking up more of your mind, the more you might find that it will take priority of your thoughts.  Then your DD activity just becomes secondary. 

I'm at that point now, where it's secondary and enjoyed.  I still have an issue with boredom, and should do things as a filler to make better use of time, but I'm no longer missing work or killing my social life over it.  I still love my husband and he takes all priority of my emotional feelings more than any stupid character in my MD sessions.

[Ivy White]

When I talked about my maladaptive daydreaming to a friend I got what made us different from "normal" people. I had described how I would close my eyes and see everything as if it were real, the huge buildings, the churches, the spaceships, that I would move around, acting out my character, talk to myself, talk bck to myself in another voice and sometimes be so stuck that I can't quit it. My friend said she needs to take drugs to have that kind of vivid daydreams where you are completely engulfed in them.

Of course people daydream, we all do. She says when she daydreams it's scenario's too often when she's bored on the bus, and she imagines what would happen when she'd go back to that place she visited in India, what she needs to do once she gets home, imagines herself going on a date with that guy she likes. She drifts of and it comes and goes and when she particularly likes something she can immerse herself into it, but then she's at work and she starts thinking about workstuff.

Whereas me, I often daydream in public transport and once I'm into it, I'm sucked into it and stuck. It realy feels like my brain works on half power, one half daydreams and every time my attention faulters I'm back daydreaming. I try to concentrate on my work then I screw it up. And when I work I have to do that with the other half of my brain, that is not really efficient.

Also, most people who do not maladaptive daydream have no alternate reality, have no alter ego inside that reality, have not created characters into that world and fleshed them out and created storylines that build one upon the other, complicated plots or that sort of things. 

[Tinkerbell]

Your friend is a daydreamer but he does not have Maladaptive Daydreaming.  In Maladaptive Daydreaming one may feel and sense things from the dream, act out the characters. Do things such as pace, rock and even change voices when interacting with different characters from the dream.  Another quality of MD is that it's addictive and many people can slip into it without even realizing it.

For some people taking medication for other things such as OCD or bipolar, may help with their excessive daydreaming but not always does this help people. It really depends on the individual.

ADDED:- In answer to your question, "Should we let MD affect our day to day life?"  I don't think one should if they can help it.  A few years ago when my MD was really bad due to stress, one of the neighbors saw me having an episode.  Which had resulted in me being given the name, "The Mad One."  If I am walking or taking the bus and going to work if the neighbors see me they will, tell their children not to talk to me and sometimes cross the other side of the road. They have even advised other people new to the area not to talk to me because I am "Mad."  So no, if one can help it I would say that they should control their MD.