Seeming like I don't care?

[Lex]

I really struggle keeping myself in reality, I'm constantly pulled back into my mind because I feel better there and will completely zone out from reality whilst subconsciously nodding along and smiling to what people are saying. I find it really hard to get out of this, and will zone every time someone speaks - not because they bore me, but because I zone all the time (whether someone is speaking or not).

The thing is, this detachment comes across as me seeming to not understand or care about other people's problems. I find it hard to socialise and verbalise my empathy (this is a result of me spending most of my time daydreaming in controlled situations where I have a long time to think up the best possible responses) and hence I have had a number of people, including my father, tell me they honestly don't think I care about them.

I was wondering if anyone else had this problem, and if so what they did to overcome it - because it seems that as more people tell me they don't think I care about them, the more I dislike reality and the more likely I am to detach.

[Eretaia]

This is actually very common among daydreamers and I'm almost certain that the emotional numbness is a product of addiction itself. Do a little research on addiction and feelings and you'll notice that the symptoms we experience are the same, especially when it comes to psychological addictions. I was playing with the idea that the emotional apathy might partly be a consequence of low dopamine which still rings quite true, but it's mostly psychological. 

Were you always like this or was your emotional indifference fueled by daydreaming?

[Lex]

Thank you so much :)

It's not so much emotional numbness as the inability of mine to appear emotional, though. I feel emotions very strongly yet find it difficult to convey them to others - I think due to my retracting from social situations and socialising into my daydreams.

Eretaia said:

This is actually very common among daydreamers and I'm almost certain that the emotional numbness is a product of addiction itself. Do a little research on addiction and feelings and you'll notice that the symptoms we experience are the same, especially when it comes to psychological addictions. I was playing with the idea that the emotional apathy might partly be a consequence of low dopamine which still rings quite true, but it's mostly psychological. 

Were you always like this or was your emotional indifference fueled by daydreaming?

[Marla Singer]

I have the same problem, I can temporarily overcome it by forcing myself to stop mding, after a couple of days i start to really care about other people and want to listen to them. Sadly stopping for good is easier said than done. I'm still working on that :(

[taffle]

I have the same problem too, but I don't think it's a result of MD. I've been raised to not express my emotions, because it's impolite and makes me look weak, so I don't do that anymore. When I was little, I used to express my emotions freely but my relatives frowned upon this so somehow, I learned to suppress my emotions in front of others. I also have social anxiety so I am afraid to express my emotions in front of strangers or unfamiliar people. I don't want to look immature in front of them.

[M Hunter]

I have similar issues and many people believe I am quite cold and heartless which I don't feel is true. I do experience a lot of emotional numbness when it comes to reality because I have become quite detached from it and I normally only get emotional around fictional things. However there are instances in the real world where I can be overwhelmed with emotion but I have no way of showing it. I don't cry. I don't yell. I don't get aggressive. I don't get excited. Inside I might be crying or getting incredibly angry or I might be feeling very empathetic for another person but I can' t express it or I don't know how to. 
I think that's possibly to do with the males in my family who are quite emotionally awkward.  None of us really show strong emotion or seem to be able to deal with any strong emotions presented to us even though I'm sure inside we are feeling it or can sympathize.  So for me it's mainly upbringing but I think perhaps MD contributes because it provides me with a space where I can show emotion and get them off my chest which further prevents me from having to do it in reality.

[Sarah Beth]

Yep, totally been there. I still hear that and it still hurts. It's gotten better though as I've talked to the person who's said that, and explained to her what was really going on in my head. She'll still say it if she's frustrated or tired, but generally speaking she's been a lot better about it, and has even told me herself that she really does know that I care about her. So I would suggest talking to your dad and anyone else who says that and explaining what the zoning out really is, and how it's not because you don't care about them. Really try to describe what it feels like inside your head so they know the real reason why you act the way you do. The way you described it in your post is an excellent start. :) Hope that helps!

[Sara]

If they're someone really close to you and whom you really care about tell them about your problem. If they aren't significant enough to you then how does it matter what they think? If you're uncomfortable then while they're speaking imagine each word they're saying in your head which made it easier for me to focus on what they said. Although at the end sometimes I ended up lost on what the fuck they were talking about since I was you busy looking at each word separately in my mind. Form sentences in your head maybe. Imagine your mind to be black and each sentence they say to emerge in turn in your head in colours!

[Teagan Heart]

It's like a drug. It makes you not care for a long time. Every now and then, emotions arise like when that Newtown thing happened, but other than that, emotions can fall flat, and focus is limited.