seeking advice for the sexual side of MD

[Jody]

I wonder if anyone here might be able to help me.

Lately I've been trying to rid myself of maladaptive daydreaming. It's served as an emotional crutch my whole life, but I'm ready to start confronting my issues instead of hiding from them. So far I've been doing well, but part of me feels like I'm just postponing daydreaming for now. I guess time will tell...
Like I'm sure many people on this forum, I rely on DD for my sexual needs. Most people require fantasies to become sexually aroused, (have to use their imagination), and so I'm fine doing the same. My trouble is that I have to imagine my characters- I can't imagine myself, like ever. I don't think this is healthy, in fact I think it's a legitimate fetish. I have to look inward for my sexual needs and at the same time can never "be myself".
I can't share my fantasies with my partner because for me they're more than just sexual scenarios, my characters have whole lives beyond what they do in the sack. Also, I don't want to turn them into a mutual role playing game because they belong to me and I don't want to share. I suspect many MDers would also feel like their characters are being hijacked.
Has anyone here been dealing with this issue? Can you relate? Any advice?

[Eric Starnes]

I can identify with some of what you are experiencing but may not have ready advice.  Each one of us have different perspectives and this MD thing is like brand new-just found this site in last half hour.  Still a bit amazed, frankly.  Will just say this: it is worth the effort to deal with the issues that led to your reaching this point.  I used fantasy to help deal with insecurity, but also to boost my ego.  From my view, I need to be able to see myself realistically but not judgmentally.  Discovering that the real me had much to offer, if I lost some of my pride and accepted that the real me was more worthy than any fantasy  could ever be and that my unique self was worth developing has made a difference for the better.  I am sounding a little trite perhaps but the truth is very simple sometimes. 

I will keep you in my prayers for a good tomorrow and future success in all your endeavors.

[jessica]

hi,

I can relate to that

I find that most of my MD "friends" i have had some kind of sexual relationship with but iv realised that they always play such a similar role. I have a partner of 10 years and i really feel like im cheating on him because i feel so close to my MD friends. How ever saying that i never ever use my dreams to create my sexual arousal to be with him. Does that make sense? I would feel to guilty to ever do that to him. But i get my needs out of the MD world instead of the reality world, which is suppose is really really bad?!

But i find that i have set such a high standard in my dream world that my partner will never be able to reach it and it does effect our relationship. To the point where i think its not fair on him and i should just leave him, how will he ever meet my desires when my desires are all dreams?!