Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hey people, I was wondering if you guys have any violent daydreams, or dreams that inflict pain on other people. I noticed that mines are incredibly violent and chaotic at times. Yet, it extremely contrasts how I act in the real world. For example, in my blog I said "As for what I dream about, its quite complex as you'd assume lol. In short, its about being in a war-torn world like this one, and there is nothing but endless conflicts. So I basically sell my soul to Satan(I am not a devil worshiper) for immense power to stop the " bad guys" and end the conflicts. However, since my soul is gone I am quite ruthless in achieving world peace even if it means killing children." Sometimes I feel like I am some type of freak because it feels like I have two types of personalities, one where I am a virtual pacifist, and the other where I am a sadistic antihero.
Oh, believe me, you're not the only one who does that. Abuse, torture, rape, arena-like fighting to death, working &/or living in a war zone, last stands (yes, there were more than one :-), I like to replay all morbid and brutal)... I wonder how any of my characters are still alive after all that.
As for the two personalities - that's normal - mine fight and shoot and later on recite each other poetry in many different languages from memory.
When I was younger, and my life was full of conflict, my daydreams had more conflict in them. When I get into arguments with people in real life, sometimes my characters will get into arguments as my own way of working them out and winning the argument. It can be cathartic. There has been some violence in my daydreams, but it's happening less and less often. I had to have my main character get into a violent altercation with her stalker just because for some reason I couldn't get that character out of my head, so I had to really violently kill him off. Some other characters go through phases where they'll antagonize my main character and even threaten her, but I'm learning to resolve those situations non-violently for the most part. You're definitely not alone, however. I've heard of many people having violent and negative daydreams.
I am happy you posted this because after reading your post I realized how violent my dreams also are. Most of my daydreaming revolves around rape or sexual torture (like in the movie Eyes Wide Shut sort of environment or those erotic Ann Rice novels). I honestly like to look up sado masochism stuff to get inspiration :/ This is hard to admit because I have never told anyone in my life, it is like a very dark kept secret. And like you, it is so the opposite of my personality! I feel like my family would be shocked at the stuff I am actually interested in. But looking up BDSM stuff does make me feel oddly content....? weird. lol