Raise your hand if you're feeling lonely

[Roel]

I noticed something, I think we all must have noticed it by now; a lot of us feel very lonely.

I would like to check how many of us actually do feel lonely, so basicly;

Do you feel lonely? (being it because of a lack of friends, not having a lover,... anything!)

reply yes or no. You can explain a little if you want, I will listen to all of it and you shouldn't feel ashamed :)

And if you do feel alone, know that you -ironicly- aren't the only one feeling that way ;) 

I can say for myself; I feel very lonely, and that's mostly because of a lack of romantic relationships in my life, and because I avoid social contact because I don't understand people and meeting people hurts me. The "not having a girlfriend"-issue is what hurts me the most, but this must be very normal, especially because of my age. (I'm 18)

Like everyday I can't get out of bed because I'm too busy cuddling my pillows and sheets, trying to feel something I've never had the chance to ever feel in my life before. I can not witness a girl being very kind, without dreaming about her. Everytime I meet any girl, I wonder if she could be the one. It's like I'm obsessed with it. I am often looking in the mirror, wondering if there is nothing I could do to make myself more interesting.

Girls often like me, but they never love me. I am always funny, amusing and cute to them. I make them smile, but nothing more than that. that's cool from one side, but I'm very stupid and now or than I think a girl smiles at me because she realy like me in the way that i've always dreamed of. And I would be wrong, and I would hurt myself. It's like I am too weird to be loved, like every girl I ever met is convinced I am a great person and I will certainly find love, but it wont be her though. If every girl I meet thinks that, I will stay lonely.

Whene I have a great friendship with a girl people around me often start to say she's falling for me. But I never dare to believe that, because I know it's just the same scenario again: she likes me being weird, but she doesn't want to be with that weirdo. Someone like me is fun, but not romantic at all :(

I think this hurts me the most because whene I was very little I was in love with a girl of which I though was very sweet and kind, but she hurt me so much that i can't explain and she made me feel like I was worth nothing, just like everyone else does. For the rest of my life I have been just desperatly hoping for someone to show me that I am worth it to be loved. And I am looking for a chance to show someone I can be the kindest boyfriend ever and- I just want a chance but I feel like I never got one. I know I would be a terrible lover, but I should at least get a chance :/

However loneliness can go a lot further than that. What you just read is a teenager complaining about not having a girlfriend lol.

Some (or rather a lot) of the people here also have no friends, have no confidence (because they were bullied or idk what) and sometimes even have no hope left of ever escaping their endless lonely feelings :(

I feel for these people, and I would love to hear their stories. Don't worry about being judged or abandonent on this site. Just let me know if you ever feel lonely :) If you need to rant, or pour your heart out, go ahead!

Who knows loneliness might be very connected to Maladaptive Daydreaming :o

Thanks for reading, I am waiting for your answers :)

[Roel]

Thanks for sharing Fitri :)

Bullying is something I mildly struggled with for a very very brief period in my life, and than it was over. I got myself an agressive attitude and I could spit the most venomous insults to anyone who tried to bully me. It stopped. But I stayed agressive for too long. I kept believeing everyone wanted to hurt me, while in reality a lot of people kinda liked me and I kept everyone out. Because of that i was kind of lonely too, but not realy because I still had some friends. The sad thing is that by blocking everyone out, I seperated myself even more from reality. I have the same problme you have with friends in college. They are so different from me that there is no real solid connection between me and my friends. I have more connection with people here on this site, than irl lol.

Bad experience with love makes me feel very low about myself as well. I don't feel like I will ever be fit for a relationship. Even if people tell me I am handsome, or if people tell me that someone is into me or anything. I always reject the thought of anyone loving me. It just seems so unreal to me :/

That desire to have a loving hug from someone! damn! the feels! I have that too XD All I want is just to have someone to hug. A nice girl from my class hugged me to say goodbye at end of highschool and I almost died of happiness XD I'm still waiting for someone that realy loves me to hug me though.

I hope you get that hug one day Fitri.

Thanks for responding and sharing your story :D

[Mala Fami]

I think I'm lonely as well. Touched on this on the introduction post I just made. After high school my family moved about 30 minutes away from my hometown. So all my high school friends were there, but it was okay because I went off to college. Then I dropped out (anxiety) and I was alone in this new town without a license (anxiety anxiety, but at 22 years of age I got my license finally). And I tried to contact these friends, but they didn't seem interested so I gave up getting them to drive to me or me going by train. Very best friend visited me but went on a year long fellowship in Vietnam. I think he'll be back soon, but then this fellowship takes him to Washington, DC for a while. A ways from Chicago. I'm starting to reach out to old friends now (not most of the high school ones) and I've made some new creative writing friends. We have a writing group that's on hiatus but will meet again next week.

Anyway, my MDs all seem to be very... domestic? Major struggles and problems and breakups and eventual reconnection, undying love, marriage. That's all I want. Love and marriage. I think about my wedding. The music and dancing. Which one of us will cry at the altar. Both, I'd hope. My wife or husband (or, hey, partner of a nonbinary persuasion, right?) cuddling me during movies on the couch. Cooking food for each other or just ordering Chinese. I want that. I want that so bad (really, I do crave some pan-fried noodles right now, but yes the love and marriage too). 

Roel, maybe someday we can all meet and be lonely together.

[Roel]

I never saw my "old friends" again either. It's realy difficult to stay in touch. However I don't have much to say about this :/ I just hope you can find people that like and accept you and want to be your friends.

and omg Mala the last thing you said is sooo what I dream off as well. Thinking about the wedding (I would cry like I was dieing at the altar, because of pure happiness and emotion) and the cuddling :3 and the fun moments together and... omg it would be so amazing. *drifts off in his dreams* XD

I would even want it over pan-fried noodles

Being lonely together is a rather difficult thing to do because that's a paradoxal sentence. But I do like the idea :)

Anyways thanks for responding and sharing your story.

Mala Fami said:

Anyway, my MDs all seem to be very... domestic? Major struggles and problems and breakups and eventual reconnection, undying love, marriage. That's all I want. Love and marriage. I think about my wedding. The music and dancing. Which one of us will cry at the altar. Both, I'd hope. My wife or husband (or, hey, partner of a nonbinary persuasion, right?) cuddling me during movies on the couch. Cooking food for each other or just ordering Chinese. I want that. I want that so bad (really, I do crave some pan-fried noodles right now, but yes the love and marriage too). 

Roel, maybe someday we can all meet and be lonely together.

[Leigh-anne]

Hi,  I feel much the same as you and I'm a lot older and in a steady relationship. But I still feel lonely due to my partner working all the time, constant responsibilities, our lack of doing fun things together and extreme lack of intimacy. I know, you might wonder why I don't just leave but it is far more complicated than that and will not solve my problem of loneliness because I do not wish to enter into yet another relationship. By enlarge I'm a bit of a loner but I do enjoy company now and then. I recently looked up about human connection, touch ect. I realized that I'm completely touch deprived and sometimes it really hurts like hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It feels as painful as any other physical pain. I came across this group online. These people all join because they are looking to meet other people to cuddle, hug or just generally hang out with. They are NOT looking for relationships or casual sex or anything just some tactile connection with other people who have the same needs. So far I have found the people on this site very decent. No one in my area yet unfortunately but I chat with a few and it makes me feel better knowing there are others like me. ps: I will confess (no matter how embarrassing it is) that sometimes I kiss my own hand pretending that I'm being kissed by my imaginary lover. Sounds silly hey? But I wan't to be kissed and cuddled so badly. Perhaps you could check out this site or others like it. Who knows, you may just meet up with someone and hit it off. Please don't feel alone in this. It seems there are many that feel just like us. Probably more than we realize!! Good luck to you - hugs. Here is the link: www.cuddlecomfort.com

[Roel]

Leigh-anne said:

Hi,  I feel much the same as you and I'm a lot older and in a steady relationship. But I still feel lonely due to my partner working all the time, constant responsibilities, our lack of doing fun things together and extreme lack of intimacy. I know, you might wonder why I don't just leave but it is far more complicated than that and will not solve my problem of loneliness because I do not wish to enter into yet another relationship. By enlarge I'm a bit of a loner but I do enjoy company now and then. I recently looked up about human connection, touch ect. I realized that I'm completely touch deprived and sometimes it really hurts like hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It feels as painful as any other physical pain. I came across this group online. These people all join because they are looking to meet other people to cuddle, hug or just generally hang out with. They are NOT looking for relationships or casual sex or anything just some tactile connection with other people who have the same needs. So far I have found the people on this site very decent. No one in my area yet unfortunately but I chat with a few and it makes me feel better knowing there are others like me. ps: I will confess (no matter how embarrassing it is) that sometimes I kiss my own hand pretending that I'm being kissed by my imaginary lover. Sounds silly hey? But I wan't to be kissed and cuddled so badly. Perhaps you could check out this site or others like it. Who knows, you may just meet up with someone and hit it off. Please don't feel alone in this. It seems there are many that feel just like us. Probably more than we realize!! Good luck to you - hugs. Here is the link: www.cuddlecomfort.com

I don't feel secure enough to join that site, but thanks a bunch for telling us about it :)

I have no idea how kissing feels like :S It hurts to realize that. I'm still very young :/ I feel so sorry for you, because your partner isn't always there :( *hugs* I also wonder where this strong feeling of loneliness is coming from. Sometimes I still feel it after going out, or after talking to a good friend. idk what is happening to me sometimes :/

Thanks for responding :D

[Shadow Cat Sam]

Yes.