Where wild minds come to rest
yes, yes I have, a personal shame of mine.
but then again I'm the sort who falls in love at the drop of a hat xD
Hmm...I am sort of voyeuristically in love with this couple in my daydreams. Since I don't exist in my daydreams, it's impossible for "me" to be in love with a character. But I often project ideas about love onto this couple, and whats even better (or not!) is that I can alter their status anytime I want.....some days I want them to get married, other days they are just living together.
I can also tell you that I am in crazy lust with the father of my main character. Haha! I hope that isn't too strange :P
I have done this so many times over the years that it's not even funny. In high school, I was desperate for love and I just wished that for just once I would be able to experience a meaningful relationship with a girl. It wasn't happening. Girls in school were just not interested in me, which was frustrating and saddening.
There were various anime/cartoons that I was watching at the time, and there were quite a few characters that I found very attractive. I would get so romantically obsessed with them that I would constantly daydream about going on dates with these different characters. This was literally the only thing I would think about. Even when I went out somewhere with my family, I would pretend in my mind that one of them is right there with me. However, this daydreaming would involve staring at their pictures to keep their images fresh in my mind. I would have to keep going to google images and searching for them.
In the recent years I have started to create my own characters, and still continue to do the same thing with them from time to time. Doing this makes me feel a euphoric, blissful happiness for a moment, only to eventually be reminded that in reality none of it was real.
It is beyond words how embarrassed I feel about all of this...
Well, not "in love". I know that he (the one I keep going back too / most common "RL" universe) isn't real, but, to quote Cordelia, I do have the perfect present/future relationship with him. He isn't perfect and has evident faults (which is fine, because I also have them), and sometimes we fight and things screw up, but at the same time my "other-self" loves him, because she loves to talk with him, be with him and he complements her very well.
In real life I've never been fortunate enough to find someone like that. Not that I care (much!) , because it would be unfair to expect someone to be like my "ideal" (even though my "ideal" also has faults) though I do have hope that some approximation might exist and that someday I might find it. Then I'll convince it that I'm the best thing that ever happened to it (well, he, not, it!), and he'll learn to accept my crazy self.
*sigh* Yes, I'm too much of a hopeless romantic. But then if you're going to dream, dream big. ^__~
yes, i havent had a daydream where i HAVENT loved somebody since.. well puberty! haha i guess that makes sense! but yes for the past 3 years about my daydreams have consisted of the same 2 or 3 people ive made up where were ALWAYS in love... what does this mean? i guess im lonely. or maybe subconciously i think ill never find somebody.. meh.