Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
No idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try to the best my ability.
I don't really put myself into my daydreams, but more like I create a character and put a few of my typical thought processes in them. I use this character to interact and observe the one I've created as the sole focus of the daydream.
I've heard of a lot of people having themselves as the main person in their fantasies, like, a tweaked or perfected version. The person who I kind of live through doesn't really even have that much in common with me, and isn't the character that I feel attached to, or "love", but more like a vessel I use to act out affection towards the "main" character.
Not sure, I actually find it kind of strange that I'm not really included in my own fantasy world.
How are the dynamics of the relationships in your daydreams?
Sorry if this has been posted before, I just joined and lurked a little bit and didn't catch it, sooo.
Also, kind of unrelated, but does anyone else change their gender in daydreams?
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I don't do that. I have me, but I'm not me.
Like, It's still me, and my family, and most of my friends are real (though some are just DD) but I'm not human, and generally I'm a bit more confident and stuff too. So technically it's me, but it's not quite me.
Occasionally, I have bits of daydreams where I'm not there, but friends are, and they're talking, and so I know what's happening... Like when there's a book, and, say for example, theres a page or two giving the reader some info about the villian, but the main characters aren't there (other than, 'MainCharacter' will not beat me blah blah...)
the main character of my dream life is gay man, who has perfect boyfriend :D. by the way, I am girl :D
Amen sista! I'm not sure why this is recently such a common theme, but hey. Haha.
Monika said:
the main character of my dream life is gay man, who has perfect boyfriend :D. by the way, I am girl :D
I never put myself in a daydream. I always created characters. Characters that were very real. I never had one character but i had multiple. All these characters were all connected. Sometimes I change their roles. I was good at acting and I played them out. Sometimes I killed off someone important to him. I acted out crying and remorse and anger. When I was angry at my dad I put him in there. My character shouts at him curses at him. I used to have daydreams about a high tech world that still had monarchy and my character was a prince who came from that world to here and i use to daydream about him following me and i teach him how this world works.
Sometimes my characters are child prodigies and geniuses. I can't seem to stop it. I wonder if i should just be a writer or an actress.
Hi, this is my first post on Wild Minds!
My main character is a guy, and I have a couple of gay characters too. I am perfectly comfortable in my main guy character's skin, and since I created him and know him so well, it's hard for me to feel really different from him. It's interesting to hear you say that you don't love or feel attracted to your main character. I do "love" my character, in the way that an artist would love their work, a painting they made. He is a part of me, a reflection of who I am, even though he is nothing like me. He is nothing like me, but I "am" him. It's very paradoxical.
Also, like many others on this site who have spoken of their daydreams, I will also any particular character as a vessel to act out things with the main character.
Now and then I have fantasies - I wouldn't even call them daydreams - that I project myself into and that have to do with my real life. They tend to be about how I wish some event had gone, or how I hope and expect some event to take place. They are short-lived. With me being in them, they are close to home, so to speak, and they leave me feeling sad somehow.
Also, I totally can relate to what you said about daydreaming about non-events from the lives of my characters. Since I daydream on and off throughout the day (less at work), it's hard for me to maintain a highly dramatic plot. I've dealt with that by slowing down the action and finding excitement in the small everyday things my characters go through. I think my characters are so cool, and I like them so much, that it's enough for me to be thinking about them. It's enough for me to just be having them on my mind. They don't have to be doing anything in particular to qualify as a daydream. This is not to say there is no drama in their lives. Any scene I daydream about is always in relation to some big dramatic event that happened in their lives or is going to happen.
My character tends to station around one girl in particular however, at times I can reel into and profile other characters even if the main character isn't present. My character certainly is not me, I don't know but I've always thought that was weird (I have made cameos in my DD however, never usually a predominate role- ex. the quite girl who sits in the back of the class- almost like an extra in a movie lol). Instead my character is almost an extension of me. She has some of my personality traits but also has her more extreme traits and characteristics that do not reflect who I am in reality. In a way she is a reflection of who I wish to be in real life.
Sometimes I can get soo engulfed in my day dreams that I put out these emotions in real life ultimately embarrising myself. Like when one of my characters say's something funny (which is really me... so I guess I get humour points) I will smile real big or giggle sometimes even burst out laughing while others stay completely unaware of what was funny to begin with.
Also do you feel as though your other hobbies, addictions and general outlook on life is centred around your character. I have a bad addiction to the internet. I like to surf the web and oftentimes when I find something interesting or inspiring i like to apply it to one of my characters or somehow weave it into my DD. I like to spend time browsing clothes, hobbies, music, food etc. online that my characters would be interested in. If I notice outstanding traits in people or great things they say or do it most likely will end up in my DD.
Reading about all of your DD and alternate lives makes me certain we were all born with a gift. There's no way way we were not born to be storyteller's and movie directors haha. I have an ongoing soap opera/action movie/comedy in my mind more entertaining and intricate than the whole Twilight movie saga and Harry Potter series combined if you ask me. I just wish I could be open and comfortable with people knowing what I am really feeling and also be able to store it away at times when I want to be productive.
I have also embarrassed myself on numerous occasions, most always because I was laughing or wistfully smiling about something going on in the daydream. In moments like that, with the people who noticed you were laughing/smiling, how do you begin to explain?
It does get muddled when I encounter things in my real life, like music, books, clothes, food that I funnel into my daydreams. Is it me who really likes those things, or my character? Sometimes I will say that my character has an interest or a skill that I wish I had, but don't have. That way, by assigning my characters these traits and experiences, some of their glamour and achievement will rub off on me. So the daydreamer-character relationship is a channel with traffic moving in both directions. You affect them, and they affect you.
It's fun to think that my characters are independent, think for themselves, and make their own choices. Of course, that's the kind of people they are. But it all comes crashing down with the realization that each of my characters, including my main one, it is a canvas onto which I project my hopes, aspirations, and preferences. The character is a vehicle through which I achieve my own growth and expansion of myself. And that isn't just something that I hope will happen "one day." That is something that, I've been amazed to realize, HAS really and truly happened.
I, the daydreamer, gave my characters full life, extraordinary life. But I'm also the only one whose life is real. Theirs is not and never will be. Compared to me, my characters lifeless. (Again, a paradox.) That's how I would respond to the issue of perspective on characters.
I have also had daydreams involving child prodigies. Have you ever joined a drama club or theatre group? I'd never thought about it before, but being able to channel emotions like that sounds like it would be very beneficial to actors, as long as they could contain themselves when necessary.
Sheyenne said:
I never put myself in a daydream. I always created characters. Characters that were very real. I never had one character but i had multiple. All these characters were all connected. Sometimes I change their roles. I was good at acting and I played them out. Sometimes I killed off someone important to him. I acted out crying and remorse and anger. When I was angry at my dad I put him in there. My character shouts at him curses at him. I used to have daydreams about a high tech world that still had monarchy and my character was a prince who came from that world to here and i use to daydream about him following me and i teach him how this world works.
Sometimes my characters are child prodigies and geniuses. I can't seem to stop it. I wonder if i should just be a writer or an actress.
I've had several instances where I've researched or looked into things just for my characters. People think I am more multifaceted than I am.
It does hurt to know that I can never actually see these characters, or that they will never live to be as extraordinary as I've created them to be in my mind. I've used to this to attempt to better myself in several areas and it is working so far.
Catauxgory said:
I have also embarrassed myself on numerous occasions, most always because I was laughing or wistfully smiling about something going on in the daydream. In moments like that, with the people who noticed you were laughing/smiling, how do you begin to explain?
It does get muddled when I encounter things in my real life, like music, books, clothes, food that I funnel into my daydreams. Is it me who really likes those things, or my character? Sometimes I will say that my character has an interest or a skill that I wish I had, but don't have. That way, by assigning my characters these traits and experiences, some of their glamour and achievement will rub off on me. So the daydreamer-character relationship is a channel with traffic moving in both directions. You affect them, and they affect you.
It's fun to think that my characters are independent, think for themselves, and make their own choices. Of course, that's the kind of people they are. But it all comes crashing down with the realization that each of my characters, including my main one, it is a canvas onto which I project my hopes, aspirations, and preferences. The character is a vehicle through which I achieve my own growth and expansion of myself. And that isn't just something that I hope will happen "one day." That is something that, I've been amazed to realize, HAS really and truly happened.
I, the daydreamer, gave my characters full life, extraordinary life. But I'm also the only one whose life is real. Theirs is not and never will be. Compared to me, my characters lifeless. (Again, a paradox.) That's how I would respond to the issue of perspective on characters.
Unlike you, I do put myself in my daydreams. I have a few different characters I play, but most are gay males. I'm female and attracted to males, but for as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a boy. This could be why.
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