Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
over the hill daydreamer
Hello, I am new to this site and am struggling and have been struggling with maladaptive daydreaming for over 30 years as a way to escape my problems with work and relatives. Unfortunately it has stopped me from making important decisions about changing my life... and continues to do so...but I can't stop daydreaming as life continues to be difficult....I am considering quitting my job and moving away to another State and get away from everybody and completely changing my life which might stop it...
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cym Cannon on
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Hi Marie,
I hope all is well. I have been daydreaming for my entire life, as well, to the frequent detriment of my actual life. I am in pretty deep, with academic, social, health, and financial troubles. So I may know your pain.
I don't know if moving away would solve any of your problems. Taking a geographic, in the language of addiction, rarely does. One is cut free from the old problems, but one doesn't have any new life skills. So the old problems crop right back up. Better to get help, learn to cope, and change from the outside in...
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The thing about getting help is I don't believe I can sit opposite a doctor again....years ago I did for depression and it was like talking to a brick wall...I also took anti-depressants and attempted suicide (very poorly). I recently got into trouble at work for losing my temper with the stupid bosses regarding non-important issues like lateness...I can no longer hold my temper sitting opposite anyone ....and now I face disciplinary action...I refused to go into another bosses office to speak to about it ...and I have again refused a demand by a higher superior to go into their office for a meeting "with all parties". I don't have the patience for this garbage in life anymore...when I get stresses then I start daydreaming about men in other situations...(or celebrities or politicians as others peceive them in the medica - I get that after watching too much news) I then start to pace out my fantasises with music....
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Permalink Reply by Chris H on
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Hi Marie, I am also a long time MDDer ...I think about 38 years or so. I am also in deep right now. I agree with Cym, moving away may not help you. It could make it worse by adding new problems to the ones you already have. I know it is a complete nightmare. I'm diagnosed as having Cyclothymia, basically a slightly mild bi polar, and traits of personality disorder. To be honest I am doing well with the depression, but the MDD is in overdrive. It's nice to hear of similar people, for too many years I thought it was just me. I am trying a small amount of meditation, and exercise. I recently read that boredom can be a factor?.. I think this hits it on the head for me. I get up, go to work, come home ... Get up, go to work, come home..... Even at work I'm think of little plots for my MDD. It is everywhere at the moment. I wish it wasn't so addictive. I am having to argue with myself, that it isn't real... But it is really harming my reality... My life seems so grey and dull in comparison.
Marie, I'm in the UK so there will possibly be a time delay. But if talking (writing) helps... I would like to listen. Take care,
Chris
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Chris, a lot of MDD is to do with boredom...and a situation that I seem to have myself stuck in; and worry that I can't
get out of it. Going into a fantasy world or pretending to be someone else is the only way I seem to cope. Life in reality is ....when I try to face it, always results in me losing my patience, panicking, losing my temper and fighting with people. I know I need medication or something but then I would have to go back to that same old merry go round of medical 'professionals' most of whom just stare at me while I try to explain my life story (a complicated one). If boredom is the core founding problem then why is it considered taboo by many for someone suffering to just get up and go away from this boring life... routine filled with commitments and threats from others of what will happen if we don't fulfill those commitments... move away with what little money we have and live day to day and address each problem day to day and be free!? aka Easy Rider ! Bring back the 60s! (lol a little humour there to lighten the mood)
Chris H said:Hi Marie, I am also a long time MDDer ...I think about 38 years or so. I am also in deep right now. I agree with Cym, moving away may not help you. It could make it worse by adding new problems to the ones you already have. I know it is a complete nightmare. I'm diagnosed as having Cyclothymia, basically a slightly mild bi polar, and traits of personality disorder. To be honest I am doing well with the depression, but the MDD is in overdrive. It's nice to hear of similar people, for too many years I thought it was just me. I am trying a small amount of meditation, and exercise. I recently read that boredom can be a factor?.. I think this hits it on the head for me. I get up, go to work, come home ... Get up, go to work, come home..... Even at work I'm think of little plots for my MDD. It is everywhere at the moment. I wish it wasn't so addictive. I am having to argue with myself, that it isn't real... But it is really harming my reality... My life seems so grey and dull in comparison.
Marie, I'm in the UK so there will possibly be a time delay. But if talking (writing) helps... I would like to listen. Take care,
Chris
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My friend, moving is not necessarily the answer. I have MD all my life (I'm 52), and I've learn to use it to my advantage. Of course, I have tried to simplify my life, get interesting friends, read (Bible and other books), fight it when it wants to get out of control (though sometimes I do not win). and finally I have more or less gained control of my MD, to use it to my advantage. I only let it loose at bath time and bedtime, or when I wake up in the middle of the night. Also, I am starting to talk about it to my Therapist, and I've found the more I talk about it, the less control it has over me. Of course, choose the right person to talk to...
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I have absolutely no friends only relatives with problems...who make me feel guilty...last night my day was so bad I went home and listened to music with my headphones while pacing around the room and imagined I was Donald Trump all night with all the media people watching and shouting ! I am resigned to the fact that I am crazy ! But you know what even in that idiotic fantasy (as I realise now waking up) I felt completely lifted away from my own reality....
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