New on the block...

[Ana F.]

Hi fellow DayDreamers...

Good to have found good company.

 

I'm 36 yo and I have been daydreaming since I was 12/13ish...

Just a few days ago I had no idea what MD was, had never even heard the name.

I was googling for excessive daydreaming and there it was. I've becoming more and more aware of the constante daydreaming I've been doing, and once I started to realise just how I earn for it, and how it's never enough, and how I get angry when I am interrupted... I googled.

I've always thought of  myself as an imature daydreamer, not accomplished on my life, trying to find some pleasure on an alternate reality. And maybe that's what it is, on a nut shell??

 

Not only am I worried for putting my real life constantly on hold... which has very sad consequences (I have two very young daughters)... but I am worrying about the recurrent theme.

 

My DDs are of the romantic sort... where I am this 17 year old girl... beautiful, of course, who draws the attention of a dangerous older man. (and when I mean dangerous... I mean, the worse the better). Of course he loves me and wants to be with me at any cost.

I am seriously worried about this attraction for the violent male. I mean...it's way more than your average "bad guy" that so many women fantasize about.

I get inspiration from just about everything... real life, movies, tv, music, sometimes History characters...

 

This past week just becoming aware of this condition slowed down my MD. I haven't been DDing as much or as long as usual.

I also found the courage to talk to my husband about this.

I felt so bad about myself because he was feeling so jeaulous... I tried to put an act and tell him "hey, you got nothing to worry about, it's just in my head" but the thing is... he will never be as perfect as my fantasy.

 

The latest one is Ronnie Kray... (some of you might know who I am talking about).

Obviously, in my fantasies, he is not gay... but he is as violent as I've read he was.

Why am I so fascinated with violent men? Can anyone shed a light on this for me?

I think these men... how can I put this... the intensity of their crimes and hate and violence are equally proportional to their ability to love... and maybe I just want that kind of intense dedication from someone...

 

Oh my God... I have just told you some of my biggest secrets...

 

Gotta go, hope to hear from you soon enough.

 

Nice dreams everyone