My Job and MD

[Nadia]

I am coming to this discussion because at the moment I feel like I am really struggling with my MD. I am absolutely hating my job as an administrator because I work right near the Reception area, so me (and my boss) are continuously subjected to the same songs from the same radio station during the day (all day!) To try and cope with this I have to try and put my earphones in and listen to my own music, but it’s a trigger for me just like most MDers so I end up getting confused and staring and my screen and desk in a dreamlike state. On top of this, (I am an apprentice) I have to watch all my friends come back from University and they are all on holiday or going on trips doing fun things which they are then posting on social media whilst I am at work. I am getting serious ‘FOMO’ which is making my daydreams is even worse because I feel so trapped at work and jealous that I can’t do anything exciting like my friends. I have asked my friends if they want to do interesting things like go to festivals or theme parks but they all say no because they have already got interesting things planned.

My boss doesn’t even know what MD is and I am not planning on educating him on what it is or saying I have it. I don’t know how to cope at work I really want some advice for what I can do from people who understand xx

[Silver Swan]

I know how you feel. I freelance at home at my computer desk for 8 hours a day/ 5 days a week. I rarely have a social life, except for a girlfriend of mine who is always too busy to hang out and do things in the evenings. So sometimes, when I am getting drilled into work, my day dreams will just start to get edgy or downbeat. This does happen because I am so jealous of other people's successes, achievements and opportunities to live better lives and have people around them.

I've known several people who wouldn't make time to hang out with me, nor want to take me on their planned journeys. Some people just never think of others for a change. I guess your friends have very preoccupied lives, are a bit into themselves and couldn't spare time to squeeze you into the picture. I find it so weird they can't stop to think about how their friend Nadia is doing.

Have you ever thought of talking to a therapist or a psychologist for day dreamers or people that deal with fantasizing? Can you also tell your friends how their ignorance is playing on your feelings?

[Nadia]

Hello Silver Swan,

Thanks so much for your reply, it means a lot to know that someone is having a similar experience to me at the moment. I am considering telling my friends how I about not being included in as many interesting activities I’m just trying to work out the right way to do it. As far as a therapist, I don’t reallt have the money or someone that I can talk to about my MD as I live in a remote part of England where there aren’t any specialists that I would want to see, although maybe I would consider a councillor? Not really sure what the best method would be x

[Silver Swan]

All I can suggest is you keep on networking with us to get more advice from other readers. Yeah, I know it's hard to connect with people when you feel so left out. It's a very Me Me Me world out there. There is also a big awareness of mental health out there, as people are often so determined to seek others who are already healthy, sound and happy. This makes it so frustrating for people who are reaching for help and seriously need people's attention. I am sure there are online councilors you can reach that don't charge very much.

[Nadia]

I love this forum and I am definitely going to continue with it, thank you!

[Aquarius]

Nadia, music is a big trigger- so you have to put on one mindless track on loop, it'll drown out other noises. But then it'll make your mind wander. So use earplugs. There's enough sound to keep aware of your environment yet it'll help you focus.

FOMO- yeah that happens. Everybody lies. They go to one event post pictures of that for the next few weeks. You seem like fun person to be around, declare on social media that u are going off to that awesome festival or this awful theme park so if anyone wants to join, say now or hold your peace forever. Go to some places alone, hey u'll make friends.

Remember we MDD mostly because we are bored outta our minds. Well that and because we have overactive imaginations. Pick up an art and craft workshop, for just DIY. Try new things. It'll help, trust me.

[Nadia]

I’m thinking of trying to write a comic but I literally never get round to actually doing it!

[Silver Swan]

 
I spent a long time thinking of a graphic novel or illustration book that involves cartoon animal characters. These humanoid characters are spin offs of Disney and of other cartoon creators, only they are targeting an adult audience, instead of a children's audience. The content is almost as close to edge as our society, and the characters do what us humans do. They get into mischief, jealousy, dissing, relationships and everything else. It's kind of like with those cross-transitional Disney stories created by You tubers, only the pictures are static and have better structure.

[Nadia]

That’s so creative, I gues it’s one of the pros to having MD- to be able to come up with such vivid and interesting concepts

[Aquarius]

I guess I have to jump back into this conversation after reading Theaxe's comment.

So yeah I wrote a book, fiction, it's with a publisher, a big one. I realized that my MDD comes from my need to create. Did I MDD when I was writing the book, hmm, well of course I ran all the plots, scenes, dialogues in my mind. These last few days I'm MDDing about myself because my mind wants to create so i either need to write or read. But I'm in the middle of a job application and writing a thesis on a technical subject so I have put an unnatural curb on writing and reading ( I read voraciously).

You are an artist Theaxe. It's a matter of time when you share that art with the world. And it's amazing how the shame that we have of being MDDers dissipates when we reach that stage, that realization 'wait a second, I MDD because I am a creator" that is true freedom.

[Silver Swan]

Actually, I didn't start a graphic novel or any cartoons as I described. I only imagined what my cartoons would've looked like if I was ambitious enough to get into. Apparently, I need a large time slot where I'm not going to work, probably on leisure while traveling achieving my goal. I'm not sure about a career in doing this, but maybe just a big hobby.

I am very positive that many other people have picked up this direction well before me, with however style of cartoons. Just click on Google and you'll see examples in coloring books, comics and motion animation films. Many people implant adult subject matter into content that was meant for children. The originality would be my own tactic of achieving the artwork.

[Silver Swan]

Hey Theaxe! Got your message today. Nice talking to you and all.

[Silver Swan]

To tell you the truth, I didn't quit day dreaming entirely. I wasn't realistic with myself when I blogged that I plan to quit. I eventually forgot I wrote this false goal and still deal with day dreams to this day. I have learned to suppress my Maladaptive day dreams so drastically starting at age 29. I was able to restrain myself from delving into thick fantasy worlds that often sucked me into trances. By the time I turned 30, my mind wasn't the same as it was before. I started getting drawn more into my realistic surroundings and real people. I looked back at my fantasy worlds, and realized this needed serious therapy many years ago, if I had gotten the guts to break this out to my family in advance.

To control MDD so much more, I had to struggle to survive and earn my independence somehow. So I've had a few major contract jobs where I needed to keep my eyes open and I really had to listen. So Basically, I forced myself to concentrate very hard and take my duties very, very discreetly. Just a lot of concentration and discretion in my career and towards life itself.

To really pull through, I had to scare the day lights out of myself. Realizing the consequences of doing MDD for years, I honestly just creeped myself right out. Like, I really 'shook' myself up. I told myself, "How are you going to be independent someday?" Becoming an independent adult is never easy in today's world, and it can be scary, because you don't know where you'll be. How do you know if marriage will come into the picture? YOU don't know anything! Only time can tell you what happens next.

Ultimately, this really improved my attention span and concern of the real surrounding environment around me. I even began to resist celebrity crushes, as I realize that I don't know who those people are. These days, I'm more interested in finding my significant other. I believe that my real partner would nearly be my twin, as we'd be sharing a lot in common with each other. So, I see no sense in staring at cerebral people who I may eventually not care about if we finally meet in person.

Lastly, I stopped wanting to maladaptive day dream when I found myself so disillusioned by real life to extent it wasn't funny at all. I was so angry at myself for being so gullible to believe in my day dreams. My MDD used to make me feel confident that I'll start developing relationships, dating and seeing people. What I forgot all about was the TRUTH of my mental health. I was a very uninteractive person who lacked good verbal skills to draw people towards me. To Press further, my maladaptive day dreaming was making it worse for me to achieve any of my goals. People were actually noticing that I was day dreaming and they did not like this! Didn't want to know me for this very reason. Point is, I was so thrown off that my fantasizing pulled the wool over my eyes, that I wanted to day dream so much LESS. 

Being a person who doesn't connect well with people on most levels, makes it very frustrating, especially, when nobody else has experienced maladaptive day dreaming, all but me. So, just like you, I wasn't all that positive that I'll ever get married.