My daydreaming is making me feel insignificant now.

[sasi]

I have been a lifelong daydreamer.Until a few months ago my daydreaming(mainly about a main character who is my partner)always made me feel better.However for a while now My daydreaming has become much more all consuming and is interfering with real life.I also am making myself unhappy.The problem is that my" partner" is usually a famous Hollywood star.I can make up great scenarios for a while then part of my mind gets a reality check and I start to think that I would never be beautiful/successful enough to attact this person.I feel constantly intimidated by all the media images of American stars .I also have built up (probably not true)this image of life in LA as all perfect and I feel so intimidated.Then my daydreaming just makes me feel worse and worse.

Does anyone have good suggestions to help?I would really like to get back to the point where I can dip into my daydreams occaisionally.I would also like to feel good about myself again and start enjoying the real life I do have.

Also any thourghts as to why my daydreaming pattern has suddenly changed after all these years?

 

As an aside ,I also want to say that I think this website is so great.A real support to know you are not alone.

[roxanne]

It has always been amazing to me that the very people you would think would have high self esteem actually don't.  You, for example, seem extemely bright, accomplished in many areas, wonderful conversationalist, very compassionate, managed to lose a lot of weight (so difficult).  And yet others who have far less to be proud of can seem quite confident.  You wonder if there is agenetic component.  Even siblings raised in same home, ostensibly given the same messages, can be quite different.  Do you know where your low self-esteem started?  I can see MD working both ways - raising self-esteem(for instance, I think it made me much more outgoing, as I sort of copied my DD's persona) or lowering it (not measuring up to DD's life, charms, etc.)  This seems to be the crux of the issue - how to make this a positive experience, and lessen the negative impact.  We can do this.

[J Noland]

Wow Roxanne- well said! I couldn't agree more. I was going to skip the gym after work (again) but reading sasi's post made me think, "well if sasi is having a bad day and still went to the gym then so can I." Now I feel much better then I would have felt if I'd just let myself come home and be lazy. It's strange how one day I'll look at myself in the mirror and think I'm looking okay, not perfect but who is really. Then the next day virtually nothing has changed and I see myself totally different, my hair is limp, my skin is too pale, my face looks fat, etc. Maybe it's a hormonal thing. I've never heard of men being like that.

[sasi]

Thanks both of you. I agree with JN-some days all seems ok and then others for no good reason the same stuff seems terrible.You both boosted my confidence so much.I really appreciate it.

My low self esteem is all related to childhood where my identity and confidence was completely destroyed by my mother.Took me many years to get back on my feet.

Much better day today.Am going to stay positive and try to keep my DD nice and steady.So busy today that chance would be a fine thing anyway.No bad thing!!