Meeting with other MDDers

[Laxmi]

Hey guys,

I just wanted to start off by saying I've been a member on this site for around a couple of years now but never commented or anything like that but what I've noticed is that I feel like sometimes the site is dying and I know a few days ago I found a new alternate site to this one.

But something I've always wanted to do is have a conversation with someone else that has MD, someone who may understand the struggles and I feel finding out things like other peoples' coping methods and just learning from eachother in general would be a good idea, especially since its something that happens to majorly consume a big part of myself.

Obviously with this idea comes a lot of complications which I don't know much about such as would there have to be seperate 'events / meeting places' since we live all over, and even if we did find common regions and places that the majority can attend in different places, who would be organising it? What ages would be able to attend? Maybe people don't like the fact its not that anonymous and may be something they don't want to talk about so perhaps there wouldn't be enough people willing to attend...

I'm not really sure, i guess its more of a dream rather than something realistic that could be arranged here. But then again just a thought, and I am more than happy to even find this site and discover that i have maladaptive daydreaming and realising that has truly changed my life. Especially once i realised it was 'maladaptive'.

So yeah if anyone just has any thoughts on anything or just wants to have a conversation feel free to leave a comment down below :))

[Chica D]

Are we who have MD really that unique?
Or are we just another one consumed in our minds, believing in the chatter that’s circulating in our heads.

[Laxmi]

WhiteWing said:

you could also check the discord: https://discordapp.com/invite/4dVkHTe

Thankyou for the link, I checked it out and its pretty interesting I can talk to numerous people in a certain group. Thanks for that! :)

If anyones interested I made a server; https://discord.gg/pVsjFBg

[Laxmi]

That's pretty interesting I guess, because I mean everyone daydreams from time to time. I guess what makes us different is that our daydreaming has become almost an addiction or could be one and has become mal-adaptive which implies that our constant repetitions of thought and being consumed inside of ourselves has become unhealthy whereas before there was likely a reason why we would want to constantly escape into 'another world' for example not wanting to live in this reality because of something in our life, perhaps hiding true emotions inside of us to the pount where our imagination helps us with our needs or just boredom and that was an adaptation. But now its maladaptive, productivity and often maintaining concentration becomes a lot harder, we become almost less present in our real lives and put most of our energy into our daydreams which keep us happy but temporarily, perfecting something that is not exactly reality, whilst the real world moves on trapping us into a vicious cycle where in my circumstances the daydreaming got a lot worse to the point where now I am really struggling with studying and keeping up grades etc. whereas before it got to a bad point I was able to maintain grades I was more than happy with, with less effort put into studying. In terms of being unique, I would say we are different from say perhaps having 'regular' daydreams, ours are more complex and long and perhaps 'unnatural' as I would say now that my needs are different daydreaming has become a nightmare to the point where I'm struggling where to look for or what to do in terms of help, I've kind of turned into a lost duckling. But in terms of MD I think we are actually quite common but we all have different stages of how bad our MD is perhaps in terms of control etc.

Sorry for the long reply but thanks for your comment Chica!

Chica D said:

Are we who have MD really that unique?
Or are we just another one consumed in our minds, believing in the chatter that’s circulating in our heads.

[J-Bird]

I'm 100% down.  I'm in the northeastern united states region if that helps.  I feel like that would be so much more productive than seeing a therapist. I've been trying for years to get help but clinicians thought it was psychosis....i really would like a link-up between the users of this site. also what's the other site you use?

[Martha Bozic]

You know what would be super simple to arrange? A Zoom video conference call.  All that is needed is a internet connection:  can be done on a laptop, phone, or desktop.

A time and date could be set and all who wanted to participate could do so.

[Emma Smith]

I think Martha Bozics idea is good, or maybe a skype group? I know I like to chat in real time rather than write posts so I often use either the discord (which can be a little busy) or the new chat room on another MD site which I really like. There are usually only a few active users on that site so its easy getting to know one and other. I use to love the chatroom here but its very quiet now which is a shame. I'm glad there is an alternative site but I still check here as I miss certain members and sometimes I wonder if they'll return. 

[Laxmi]

Hey guys!

Apologies for the late reply, I haven't been online for many months now, however I've also been using the time to focus on things that would help cope with the maladaptive daydreaming for example meditating in the mornings so I can start the day with a clear head, this helped because I would often delay getting out of bed and would use MD to almost calm me down or make me almost forget that I was behind schedule if you get me.

Ive tried so many different things but with me its gotten so bad over the years I lack any kind of motivation because whenever i seem to get my feet back into reality, I find it so dreary and see that I've accomplished nothing which really destroys my self esteem.  I think especially if you are a student and studying, the main thing that helps is going into public places, it may not eradicate it fully but if you are a pacer like me it really helps manage the situation.

I guess its difficult with something that has become a strong part of our identity and who we are, we sometimes we forget the seriousness of how bad it can get and if its already got to the point of being fully maladaptive it tends to screw with every aspect of our life and its hard to find any kind of help especially as its a problem we can't physically see.

Also Martha had a really good idea I've never heard of Zoom, and Emma's idea of a skype group would also work. To be honest theres so many websites and groups that its difficult to get people together and often a lot of things on these websites are spam so conference calls are the much better idea. Its so difficult to hold conversations on topics on websites!

Another thing is I've been using the app Moodpath which helps track your mood and allows you to put in notes and such and I will often use this to see if theres any particular points in the day where I may feel lower and use MD as escapism or just how it generally affects my mood. I've also got Discord on my phone now so hopefully I'll now be able to take a proper look at it.

Also thanks for the replies and I hope at some point we can all come to a point of getting rid of it like others have!

[Laxmi]

Thanks for the reply, unfortunately I live in the UK so that probably wouldn't work but yeah i feel you, i once tried to explain it to my counselor who looked at me like she was worried i was schizophrenic and would shift uncomfortably in her seat whilst trying to retain a smile lol. And sorry I dont remember what the other site was called! But as i recall it wasn't as active as this one was.

J-Bird said:

I'm 100% down.  I'm in the northeastern united states region if that helps.  I feel like that would be so much more productive than seeing a therapist. I've been trying for years to get help but clinicians thought it was psychosis....i really would like a link-up between the users of this site. also what's the other site you use?

[Emma Smith]

I'm also in the UK. The Discord group is usually quite busy, I'm not use to using discord though but I have logged in a few times. I use the MD forum Daydream in blue sometimes but its not always very busy. They do have a small chat room but there aren't always people online. I guess as so many new pages and MD outlets out there now its harder to find ones that are very active. Its a shame as although I would like to chat to other MDers I would like to have conversations about other things, I think we all need social interactions to help us get out our heads a little bit. 

[Laxmi]

Yeah thats true, we all need something to bring us back to reality and not be lost in another world, I would imagine just talking about MD would get depressing with nothing else to relate to, but its also good to know that if you have noone to talk to about it, you can open to people who understands where you're coming from.

[Ivana]

I'm in the UK too and would be really keen to connect with some other people suffering from MD 

[Calli.W]

I’m in Canada and would be open to a regular Zoom or Skype call with others as well.