MD is Good Entertainment, but not for Survival

[Silver Swan]

I used to enjoy and love doing MDD in my youth. I preferred get lost in my day dreams, rather pay interact and pay attention to real live people, even my peers. To them I was very odd, but to myself, this was naturally who I really was, so I had no problem with it. In spite, their contradictory attitudes towards my knack for fantasizing other lives, I was truly enjoying myself. Whether I was in high school, college or the workplace, I'd develop new fictional stories that motion like a film in my head. Music and colorful images would be involved, and sometimes I adopted characters I watched in shows and movies.

However, when I turned 25, everything changed for me—I had to make sure I earned a living and became independent! I earned my college degree and was hunting hard for full-time jobs in my region. I found a job in a sign print shop close to home. When I started training, it was all good, but I was totally oblivious to what the shop owner and manager were thinking and discussing about me—my failure to listen up! They'd give me instructions, but their words would fly out the other ear...instead of absorbed in my mind. Well, one day my manager was absent from work, as her 2-year old was sick and she needed to babysit. So, I was left on my very own in the print shop to consult with the clients and produce their signs.
The owner was there with me—but it wasn't a pretty scene. He began bickering and lashing at me for not being helpful and professional—even started to wonder if I was 'somewhere else.' A week later they terminated me.

This conflict followed with a string of future jobs, as every employer got the same impression from me and then terminated me from the contract. My mom finally found out about my maladaptive day dreaming, and was so distraught that she told me that I will never succeed in any profession, except for fine art.

I never obtained any social interactive skills, because all I ever wanted to do was live in dreamland. Everybody I had once known, I didn't socialize with, so I didn't get a hold of their contacts—so I was beside my own ass with developing my own social life. Even if I attempted to, new people found me awfully shy, quiet and serious. So, it was very difficult to find a date.

In my late 20's to early 30's, I dealt with a quarter life crisis. I stayed home a lot and felt lost, confused and scared of my future ahead. Overall, I was even more scared that I even started maladaptive day dreaming. I asked myself, "What was I thinking? Who in the h*** does that to themselves? I am lucky enough to have a job at all."

Being a grown up now, I am happy to still be mindfully here on earth, than anywhere else. However, I got loads of work to do when it come to rebuilding my life.

[kelly grimes]

Ive just learned the term, and it seems to apply.  I'm curious about how I might be seen or anybody else for that matter... as I have caught myself with hands in the air gesturing or talking... and I'm also thinking of this mindfulness trend. it sounds so beneficial, and at times I can see where the awareness is wanted... but it also feels like some sort of loss would be happening. There are times when I find the daze and lack of focus to be distressing, causing much anxiety when jolting back, like an electric shock to the body...I can feel it painfully, but also I enjoy the feeling of awe that comes with profound confusion...maybe its just familiar and comforting

[Silver Swan]

I don't do MD so much now. It used to send my brain jamming with too much energy. So, I'd twitch, gyrate and flap in my chair while watching TV. People would turn on me and suddenly go, "are you OK" or try to settle me down with their hands. My sister would get irritated and wonder if I've got ants. Other times, everyone would notice my strange smiles and giggles, and ask "What's so funny, Jess." If I'm tired, I'd be so interested in the dream actions going on in my head, so my bodily gestures will turn to frozen "stone." People often wondered as to why I was so very quiet and wondered if I'm maybe thinking, having it real bad or just pooped.