MD And World Of Warcraft: My Story

[Hayley B]

Hello all! I'm an 18 year old girl from Vancouver BC, and I'm 100% sure I have MD. Finding this website was a godsend! I wasn't alone! I've wanted to share my experience with MD and my somewhat strange trigger with someone else for a very long time and I'm relieved it can finally happen. Here goes.

So, I was raised by my mum, and my mum alone. Basically, my dad was thrown in jail when I was around 4 for fraud, but I didn't really mind that he was gone cause he was a jerk. My mum was freaking awesome and she was all I needed, although we were cutting it close when it came to paying the bills (can't exactly pay child support from prison, no big deal). She was always supportive and made Elementary school a breeze. I had plenty of friends. The kids thought I was quirky and fun. School quickly became my second home and I had no issues fitting in, but eventually I picked up peculiar 'zoning out'  behaviour and always spoke to my mum about how many dragons I had slain that day (just being a kid, I guess) and all the townspeople I'd save. 

Flash forward to middle school! I got obliterated by raging hormones, acne, and the inability to keep my curly hair healthy. I discovered nachos, and I ate them every day for dinner so I gained weight (it would soon turn out that it was a bloating allergic reaction from the cheese). And bullies abound! I was always ridiculed, and I didn't have friends, either. School sucked, but I still had my nachos. I had a hard time getting out of bed, I couldn't pull myself away from my daydreaming. At this point, it was definitely established that my daydreams were a bajillion times better that my reality, and my physical health was declining rapidly.

So when school was no longer a safe place to be, and with my mum always out working to support us, I had time alone at home. And then I found it.

World of Warcraft. 

omg. It was awesome. For those of you who aren't familiar with WoW, it involves creating a character and having them leveling up by completing quests, which usually are 'kill this' or 'collect  X amount of that'. Pretty mundane tasks that I didn't have to really pay attention to. So I plugged in music, completed quests, and daydreamed while doing so. I did this for an upwards of 7 hours a day after school. My daydreaming felt validated because WoW was rewarding me for my behaviour. I was rich as hell in that game cause I spent so much time doing repetitive tasks. My eyes would be looking at the screen but not focused on it. I was a zombie. 

Flash forward 9 years. WoW came out in 2004, and I've been daydream playing since. While others pace, tap their foot, or spin in a chair, my absent behaviour is clicking my mouse. If I don't get my fix, I get agitated and anxious. 

I didn't think I had a problem, but WoW comes with an ability to see how much time you've spent on the game. My time was never spent doing the 'multiplayer' bit, but instead the mindless questing while daydreaming. 

When people say they have literally dreamed away days, I know what they mean. Here is the compiled time I have spent daydreaming on my main world of warcraft characters. I feel guilty about it. When it says "days", that means 24 hours on the game. 

9000 hours have been spent daydreaming. One total year of my life. Damn, guys.