MD Affecting romantic relationships

[Becca]

So I've always suffered from very negative daydreams where I'm usually abused, raped, mistreated, etc. I do not know why they are so negative and I hate it but cannot seem to change it. While my highschool ex was not a good match for me and tried to push my boundaries a lot, I've never actually been mistreated sexually in real life. Yet I'm in a relationship now going on a year and a half, I love the guy I'm with with all my heart and want to marry him, but whenever we kiss or cuddle, I begin to get a lot of anxiety and sort of start to feel trapped. He treats me sooo well and never ever would hurt me or push me into anything I don't want to do, yet I still find myself turning away when he goes to kiss me much, or I just start feeling weird. I didn't use to be like this in past relationships that I was in before my DDs got realllyyy bad, Iv'e been wondering if they account for some of these feelings I get. Has anyone else seen their daydreams affect their real lives in similar ways?