Maladaptive Daydreaming

[47]

I'll start by saying... I had no idea this was a thing, but now that I know, I am so glad I am not alone. I've been using this as a form of escapism since I was very young. I didn't really identify it as a problem until I became an adult, because in real life you don't choose what happens. Throughout the day, I drift in and out of consciousness as my mind sees fit. I don't like it anymore. I'm becoming emotionally involved in fiction because my reality is lackluster and unfavorable. 

I believe this form of escapism can be very useful in times of stress, but now I long to be grounded. I'm unsuccessful and have some mental disadvantages... I do not need anymore diversions from reality than I already have. I guess the trouble comes in what I'm going to do to change things. I know if I spend more time in reality that I am more likely to do things that meet my ridiculously high standards for myself, but reality is so... unappealing.

Anyway, I wanted to discuss this with someone. It is not something that can be brought up at lunch, you know. This is holding me back, it's reeling me in with promises of excitement and visions of productivity. It's all fake.

What's on everybody's mind?

[The1andonlyAbber]

My life is a lot better now, but the problems that are making me retreat inside my own head are unsolvable. My daydreams involve things like time travel, going to other planets, and hanging out with vampires. The only problem is that those things are impossible in real life, but I desperately want to do them. I can't make myself not want to do those things, but I can't do them in real life, either.