Longstanding daydreams and what happens when facts get in the way???

[sasi]

Hi Everyone,

                  I'm new on here anfter coming across this site after a google search.I really thourght I was the only person who had lived the last 30ish years running a parrallel daydream world.

  In real life I am very happily married to a lovely man and have 2 great kids.I have a good job that I enjoy and plenty of friends.My "fantasy"world comes from a very disfunctional childhood and I realised it helped me cope and survive what happened.

 

  I fantasise usually scenarios that involve a character from TV as my partner.There daydreams can get very involved and I do get emotionally attached.My problem comes when I find out things about their real lives e.g.they are married.I then feel devastated-as I would if it had actually happened in my real relationship.While my head knows that this is crazy I can't help the emotions.My latest fantasy life has become a bit too all consuming and for the first time ever has started to intrude on my life the last couple of months.Recently I found out that this actor was married and am now all over the place.

 Does anyone else have a similar story?How do you manage it?? 

[roxanne]

There are some really interesting looking (at least that) women who are thought to be bi-sexual.  Amber Heard says she is - currently Johnny Depp's girl friend, I think.  Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, Anna Paquin.   I realize that they all have relationship, too - maybe even more, since they are open to everyone.  I just wondered whether their bi-sexuality would be appealing, or not so much.

I've read current research in American Medical Journal that was very interesting.  It said that whereas most women were homosexual or heterosexual, there was still a sizable minority that fit on the continuum and were not strictly 1 or the other, even though most of these did settle into 1 life style or another - usually straight.  Men, on the other hand, were almost entirely 1 or the other.  Those believing thy are bi usually eventually acknowledge being gay.  I thought that was interesting.  They had all sorts of biological/ hormonal theories as to why the difference.

[roxanne]

I think those of us who use celebrities in our romantic DD's all wish we could do that.  I try to use fictional (from novels) characters & use actors faces.  Sometimes that works, but never seems as intense.

[roxanne]

That would seem to be the best way to do it.  Funny how most of us can not really control that aspect of it.  It is interesting, in fact, to consider how much control we have.  I feel I have generally balanced/ managed my time with DD'ing, as I merge it with real life.  And the scripts are my own.  My persona is of my own making, constantly changing though it is.  The object of infatuation is not - I guess just like in real life, really.  Hmm... 

[roxanne]

What all time periods do you go to?  I go to 1700's Scotland & 1800's Sioux country.

[roxanne]

That is really cool.  Bet it is interesting.  Sounds like a great novel.

[roxanne]

I have been totally fascinated by both & read up lots about them.  Even learned a bit of Scottish & Lakota Sioux.  My Lakota name is Taka-Kola, which means friend of the Deer People.  My Scot name is Maeve MacGregor & I am related to Rob Roy (MacGregor).  Have you studied the different eras you have lived through?  Wear different clothes?  Cook different foods.  We used to have dinners about once a month on-line here that focused on different cultures/ time periods.  Once we did medieval England & came up with a menu that went with that.  I remember the roast chicken in honey & marvelous spinach tarts.  Another dinner was Indian; another Norwegian, where I learned about lingonberries that are really yummy.

[roxanne]

Yes, people often comment that I am into so many different things - always interested in something.  Many of these things are DD-driven.  So I see this as a real plus of this syndrome.  I didn't think of that until your entry.  So many of my interests would never have happened otherwise.  I think MD has made not only my life richer, but me a more interesting & enthusiastic person.

[roxanne]

You have made me realize how much this is so.  I wish I had realized this when I filled out the questionnaire for Drs. Somer & Bigelow.  If they ask for a follow-up, I will add that.  So much of what I think of as "me" in my "real life" has been impacted by my DD's.