I was never a happy child. I was constantly teased by my older siser and my father to the point where i cried. I sank into depression in my pre-teens. At that time, day dreaming seemed like a home away from home. I would feel comforted and safe by making a fantasy worlds . As my depression inclined in my teens. day dreaming began to make it worse. i couldnt stop no matter how hard I tried.When i gave in, i got that sense of comfort.But when i stopped, i felt alone and empty. I started to distance myself from my family. spending most of my free time in my room.....alone. It seemed that maladaptive daydreaming worsened my depression. Now that I am in my twenties, i have gotten out of most of my depression( although I still feel down sometimes), but i still daydream, a lot. I have figured that listening to sad music triggers my daydreaming. but I still cannot escape it. I wonder if i can ever break free of this habit. Now that i know that im not the only one that does this, that theres alot of us. I feel less alone.

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You are definitely not alone. I'm glad your depression is better. I once told a therapist that certain movies/books, etc. would "set off" a depression in me, and the therapist told me that the depression was already there.  The movie/book might have been a coping mechanism that the depression seeped into, or it might be that something in the fantasy is a mirror of something you haven't had--like envisioning a loving family when your real family was not loving. 

I think the therapist was right, for the simple reason that fantasies that had a powerful effect on me years ago when I was going through a depression, had no power over me at a few years later, once I was out of the depression. Likewise, when I was in a good place I saw a movie and really liked it, but that's all.  A year later, when I was depressed, I happened to see it again and this time I felt bad and obsessed over it.

Welcome Zach, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry your family members were not so nice, I'm glad you are feeling somewhat better now. And yes, it is a surprise and a big relief to anyone to find out they are not the only daydreamer.


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