living with MD and depression as a child

[Zach Curry]

 I was never a happy child. I was constantly teased by my older siser and my father to the point where i cried. I sank into depression in my pre-teens. At that time, day dreaming seemed like a home away from home. I would feel comforted and safe by making a fantasy worlds . As my depression inclined in my teens. day dreaming began to make it worse. i couldnt stop no matter how hard I tried.When i gave in, i got that sense of comfort.But when i stopped, i felt alone and empty. I started to distance myself from my family. spending most of my free time in my room.....alone. It seemed that maladaptive daydreaming worsened my depression. Now that I am in my twenties, i have gotten out of most of my depression( although I still feel down sometimes), but i still daydream, a lot. I have figured that listening to sad music triggers my daydreaming. but I still cannot escape it. I wonder if i can ever break free of this habit. Now that i know that im not the only one that does this, that theres alot of us. I feel less alone.

[Janet Hoffman]

You are definitely not alone. I'm glad your depression is better. I once told a therapist that certain movies/books, etc. would "set off" a depression in me, and the therapist told me that the depression was already there.  The movie/book might have been a coping mechanism that the depression seeped into, or it might be that something in the fantasy is a mirror of something you haven't had--like envisioning a loving family when your real family was not loving. 

I think the therapist was right, for the simple reason that fantasies that had a powerful effect on me years ago when I was going through a depression, had no power over me at a few years later, once I was out of the depression. Likewise, when I was in a good place I saw a movie and really liked it, but that's all.  A year later, when I was depressed, I happened to see it again and this time I felt bad and obsessed over it.

[Dusty]

Welcome Zach, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry your family members were not so nice, I'm glad you are feeling somewhat better now. And yes, it is a surprise and a big relief to anyone to find out they are not the only daydreamer.