It's silly, really. I spent several...several years dreaming, waiting and hoping for something important for me to happen, I guess, while I'm still young. I seriously wanted and needed is a relationship with someone who actually loves, admires and understands me. I spent my whole life looking forward to this. So, I day dreamed a lot about this, and for many years, like since I was preteen. Sometimes, it was all I ever thought about over anything else. Regardless, I had no idea that I was doing all the wrong things to ever get into a relationship. I wasn't paying attention to doing the right things for myself, well, because I was too busy just wanting to do day dreaming. I recently learned that I actually have Autism. This explains why I had so many problems interacting and connecting with others. I do remember making all of my young peers extremely uncomfortable when they saw my socially inept behavior. Instead of getting what I've always wanted to see, my mind practically numbed up and went idle, and I lost count of who I really am.
I realize that I should have just focused on myself, stopped worrying about unattainable things or people, and worked out solutions to my problem. I really wished that I took my education far more crucially and got busily involved, even though it probably wouldn't have guaranteed finding a romantic partner. I also could have seen a specialist in advance to help me with my maladaptive day dreaming.
I learn that sitting around dreaming about desirable things won't get you far. You really have to make
it happen with all your waking senses and do the best you can. If you do have a disability that slows you
or prevents you from attaining something, please reach out....(I learned this the hard way)