It's been a while

[havoc]

I joined this forum almost 10 years ago, at the height of my daydreaming. And now they've gone. 

Every time I have squeezed a daydream out in the past year or two, it just felt so forced. And so I've reached a point where I don't feel bothered to even try. My daydreams were focused around me acting mainly as one character within their own universe, like a lot of you guys. I have finally started noting down the plotlines of my old daydreams, and drawing scenes and characters, realising it could possibly make a worthwhile story. I could NEVER do this years ago. I could be them, so why would I merely draw them? But now there is some kind of separation and I can create them externally from myself.

Am I happy? Sometimes.

Did I stumble upon the cure for daydreaming? No.

Do I miss daydreaming? Weirdly, no.

It's as if I was looking the other way and it has slowly slipped away from me. Nothing major has happened in my life since it began disappearing, I graduated university, a relationship ended and another began, I went travelling and working, now I'm kind of settled with my partner in our own place and with an ok job. Maybe a combination of all those things led to my daydreams gradually sneaking out the door.

The realisation that it had been a while hit me today. There was a time where I would be trying to limit my daydreams because they were taking over my life, and my aim with this post was to just to explain how I ended up where I am.

For reference, I was in my teens when I joined here, when my daydreaming was really intense and I have a lot of lost/mixed memories from that time. I did daydream prior to my teenage years, and then afterwards when I went to university. I'm now in my mid 20s.