Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
The "Ideas" post inspired me to start this discussion. Most of my career , I have been blessed (or cursed at times I feel) to hold a managerial position. This has been extremely challenging with MD for at times I am not as present as a manger should be and my colleagues notice; however, they do not know what it is. I find it difficult at times to focus, but when I do I am successful.
I am quick learner and take on every task with success and is gratefully rewarded with a promotion; however, lately, I am wondering whether this is something I should be doing any longer.
Are any of you in managerial or other leadership positions? How do you manage employees? It would be great to hear if there are those of us with MD who have successful careers and how they were able to accomplish that.
I used to be, but it didn't go very well, at least for me. I worked at a huge office, and I had three people working for me and we all had seperate cubicles. Sitting in front of a computer managing data all day was a huge trigger, and I would spend most the day zoned out. The only thing I have going in my favor is that I am a quick learner and I accomplish tasks quickly, so I would get done the bare minimum to keep my job and manage my employees, and be daydreaming the rest of the time. During my lunch breaks I often went out to my car so I could daydream in privacy.
It definitely affected my productivity, and I'm sure I could have been a great manager if 'I put my mind to it.' I was always super careful about not letting on I was daydreaming; I would move the mouse around on the screen so I'd look busy (I think I perfected that method - daydreaming and moving the mouse - it's like chewing gum and patting your hair at the same time - takes practice!) or I would have a pile of documents in front of me I could pretend I was reading. Even so, I would get startled out of my daydreams on occasion, which was always embarrassing and made me feel silly.
So many times I tried to stop and focus on my work and be good at my job, but eventually I quit. It wasn't specifically because of the daydreaming, but looking back the daydreaming was the core of the issue: I hated myself because I wasn't motivated to do a good job. I thought the reason I wasn't motivated was because there was something intrincily wrong with me - it seemed everyone else at my work (400+ employees) were all working hard to make it up the corporate ladder and happy and excited to do so. And, at the heart of it all, I wasn't doing a good job because of the daydreaming.
Since then, I have had so many jobs: dog walker, pet sitter, pastry chef, building manager, personal assistant, caretaker, and on a couple of occasions I have been unemployed, but not often, I am happy to say.