Introduction, new here

[Kim e]

Hi everyone,

I just signed up and I'm so happy that I have found other people like me, as well as a name for what I have. I never even knew maladaptive daydreaming existed even though I have lived with it my whole life. I just thought I'd write down my story to sort of introduce myself!

I have had MDD since I can remember. When I was little, I was always the most imaginative of my friends and took our imaginary play much further than they would. By the time they were sick and bored of playing, I was sad and upset to leave the fantasy world we would create.

When I was about 6 I started to daydream I was in the show/movies pokemon. By the time I was ten I was role playing online. By my teens I had full blown MDD.

In my teens I traveled to and from school 2 hours each day total. I got given an Ipod, and would daydream and listen to music for the entire trip. I would daydream complicated stories about bands, movies or TV shows. Then when I got home I would daydream more, for hours. My parents got me a treadmill and I would listen to music as I walked/ran and daydream.

Now I am 22 and moved out of home I live with my partner. My mother recently passed away. My daydreaming is at its worst. I can literally spend a whole day just daydreaming with my music on, pacing back and forth repetitively. I pace so much sometimes I make my feet ache and ankles swell! My stories are complex and usually base themselves on some tv show or movie. I tend to get obsessed with something for months, and then move on to the next thing. Right now I am stuck on Loki, Thor and the Avengers! 

Anyway, I want to try and change, or at least reduce the amount of time I am daydreaming. It is having a negative impact on my life and I am actually starting to enjoy my daydreams more than reality to the point where I am depressed and angry in reality. When I try and come back to reality and leave my characters behind I feel a sense of loss and actual grief.

[New York dancer]

Hi Kim, your back story sounds almost exactly like mine. Especially the imagination play you did as a child because I was obsessed with imagination play. Seriously, if a game didn't involve an element of pretend, then I wasn't interested. I was a funny child :D

But seriously, the way you evolved resonates with most of us here. It seems shocking when you first spill the beans (confess your daydreaming habits) but as you read on you'll notice quickly how we all sound similar to each other. Our general story is so alike and its only in the minor details we find our differences. You'll see it as you read other posts.

By the way, your daydream is super active right now because of the great tragedy you faced. My condolences for your mother's loss. That is a extremely hard reality to deal with and something like that will manifest a magical wonderland within your internal daydream universe. Your in emotional pain and as a natural daydreamer the first thing you're going to want to do it cave in. Escape inside to the sanctuary that keeps you safe. This serves the purpose to give you internal comfort. Think of this: when you cut your skin and bleed, the first thing your body does is it goes after the wound. The body rushes to the injury while the blood dries into a scab. In time, the body replenishes the wound and eventually it heals it. Right now your in emotional pain, and your receiving temporary relief with power of the mind in form of fantasy. Pain into pleasure.

This kind of daydream relief is temporary. You need to morn and take time to heal. The daydream will give you want you want for as long as you want but it can not give you what has been lost. It's important that you deal with the loss of your mother and deal with all the hurt that comes with it. This is real way to heal. This is the stem of why your daydream has taken a addictive approach. The daydream doesn't exist on it's own. You put it there and it's serving you want you want. Acknowledge this and find happiness outside daydreaming.

Don't get the wrong idea about how I view daydreaming. Because I'm a proactive daydreamer and I love daydreaming! Seriously member of the loving daydream world. But I just understand it's nature like a veteran and I can sense the patterns, like when it's used in a unhealthy manner. Daydreams has wonderful creative powers but when used the wrong way it can trap you to the point of slow suffocation. You have to learn to see both the beauty and beast. Age, time and experience will give you a better view of what I'm talking about. I give you my word ;)

PS: I love Loki too. Seriously, that character is so well developed he fires up my imagination. Whoa! Love that guy.

[The1andonlyAbber]

I also loved playing pretend when I was little! :-D I was always seriously obsessed with imagining stuff. And when the first Thor movie came out, I also incorporated those characters into my daydreams!