Hi all
My name is James,47 years old , completely useless at technology but glad the younger guys have found this place to be . Where to begin ?, short version , traumatic childhood, some abuse, quickly convinced around 11 years old I was no good and pretty worthless
So I did what we here do , escape, into myself, my bedroom,my thoughts, one way ticket to St Elsewhere
Found a new toy , seemed I had enormous power, fearful of the real world, it just hurt me,
Elaborate scenarios that I could control, films , books , Tv fed this new monster voraciously, couldn’t do any of them without starting
Classic issues, faraway look , clicking to timed Dds , blinking, angry if disturbed, time set aside , highly planned, socially uncomfortable , sooooo would have advised against this if I had known then what I know now
Brought nothing but misery as only emotions really were in Dds , recent total heath related breakdown , total cataclysmic implosion due to health related fear
Working , but just barely holding it together as v busy work for NHS at this time
Cant access Dds , so truly nothing in my head but pain really
tired now , grateful to all , but late here as glad this exists as nothing ‘back in the day’ like here
Regards to all
J