Imaginary Boyfriend

[Teagan Heart]

Has anyone ever had or is currently having an imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend? If so, do you ever catch yourself acting or talking out loud?

[Drake]

Never really. My daydreams never usually become romantic, and my boyfriend would kill me if he knew I was with an imaginary man xD

[Pseudo Life]

Yes.  Yes. yes.  Much of my daydreaming is around this relationship. I'm married and have had daydreamed off and on for as long as I can remember.  And I act or talk aloud when no one is around.  I've been married for a long time.  If I was younger - and was entering a new relationship - I think I would have to ask myself if there would be anyway to share these fantasies with my partner.  I have a friend who is married and she and her partner do a lot of role playing, pretending they are in the jungle, the artic, historical stuff. My dear husband would never ever do that. 

 

To start all over again, I would be more clear on what I was looking for in a relationship and what the daydreaming may be telling me about myself and my partner.

 

[sasi]

Yes. I've had an imaginary boyfriend since I was very young. I've also had real life relationships and am now married but the imaginary relationships continue concurrently. I sometimes do talk out loud especially if I am imagining scenarios while I am driving in my car. Hopefully others will thing I am just "hands free" on my phone!

[Teagan Heart]

Yeah, sometimes I think that I should get a blue tooth and wear it on my ear to act like I'm talking to someone.

[Teagan Heart]

I'm surprised that you still have the imaginary relationships when you are married to someone for real now. Let me ask you, do you compare your imaginary boyfriend to your real husband. Is your husband better looking than your imaginary boyfriend?

sasi said:

Yes. I've had an imaginary boyfriend since I was very young. I've also had real life relationships and am now married but the imaginary relationships continue concurrently. I sometimes do talk out loud especially if I am imagining scenarios while I am driving in my car. Hopefully others will thing I am just "hands free" on my phone!

[Teagan Heart]

So Psuedo life, now that you are married for real, what kind of fantisies do you have about your pretend boyfriend/pretend husband? Is it sexual? Or is it just someone else you can talk to? Do you like doing that or do you want out?
Pseudo Life said:

Yes.  Yes. yes.  Much of my daydreaming is around this relationship. I'm married and have had daydreamed off and on for as long as I can remember.  And I act or talk aloud when no one is around.  I've been married for a long time.  If I was younger - and was entering a new relationship - I think I would have to ask myself if there would be anyway to share these fantasies with my partner.  I have a friend who is married and she and her partner do a lot of role playing, pretending they are in the jungle, the artic, historical stuff. My dear husband would never ever do that. 

 

To start all over again, I would be more clear on what I was looking for in a relationship and what the daydreaming may be telling me about myself and my partner.

 

[Mira]

Only once. A few years ago, I was in a very emotionally distant relationship with a guy I just could NOT figure out. I was also going through a real rough patch with my anxiety and he was totally useless in helping me deal with it (he basically told me to see a shrink and then washed his hands of it). He lived like an hour's drive away, so he wasn't around very much to comfort me.

I would sometimes cry myself to sleep, and then I started imagining that there was a man in the bed with me, putting his arms around me and comforting me, unconditionally. That's all there was to it, really. But that image got me through some sleepless nights, let me tell you.

Mind you, I'm now in a relationship with a guy who DOES do that, frequently. So I don't have to imagine any more. :)

[Pseudo Life]

hmmm.  I've been married for a very long time.  for a number of reasons, we are still together, history, kids, money, retirement, etc.   I'm ancient compared to most of you.  My daydream is character-driven, romantic, sexual, tender, funny, singing, dancing, sentimental.  I've been daydreaming this for about a year.  I replay many parts of it, add details.  I occasionally talk to my daydream man about how lonly I am. However, I am also a different person in the daydream.  Anna, neuroscientist, jazz singer, tragic loss of first husband - who turned out to be gay - and twin boys who died in a car crash 10 years ago.   I wear only clothes by AKRIS, a premier designer.  $4,000 dresses.  And I have a trust fund.  We get married after four days, and I never get beyond the first month.   Sounds crazy when I write it out like this.  But I also live an active life, leadership in volunteer organizations, art projects, grandmother.

 

Mira, you say you have a guy.  Hold on to that.  And if you start fantasizing about what he is like, be careful.

 

 

Teagan Heart said:

So Psuedo life, now that you are married for real, what kind of fantisies do you have about your pretend boyfriend/pretend husband? Is it sexual? Or is it just someone else you can talk to? Do you like doing that or do you want out?
Pseudo Life said:

Yes.  Yes. yes.  Much of my daydreaming is around this relationship. I'm married and have had daydreamed off and on for as long as I can remember.  And I act or talk aloud when no one is around.  I've been married for a long time.  If I was younger - and was entering a new relationship - I think I would have to ask myself if there would be anyway to share these fantasies with my partner.  I have a friend who is married and she and her partner do a lot of role playing, pretending they are in the jungle, the artic, historical stuff. My dear husband would never ever do that. 

 

To start all over again, I would be more clear on what I was looking for in a relationship and what the daydreaming may be telling me about myself and my partner.

 

[roxanne]

I am also married, happily, for many years.  I can't remember ever being without a boyfriend since my early teens.  But I also have had concurrent fantasy mates for that entire time.  I play out some of fantasies in real life, and then use some real life issues in DD's.  They very much intersect.  Frankly it's the whole point of my DD's.  I so admire the creativity of others here with non-romantic DD's, but it's not me.

[sasi]

I am actually very happily married. My husband is everything I could wish for in a " fantasy" boyfriend and more. Which probably has you asking why I still fantasise. I think it's such a habit that I don't stop it. It doesn't usually impact on my real life relationship unless very intense dd. also my dd let me explore all sorts of scenarios which boost my self confidence. 

roxanne said:

I am also married, happily, for many years.  I can't remember ever being without a boyfriend since my early teens.  But I also have had concurrent fantasy mates for that entire time.  I play out some of fantasies in real life, and then use some real life issues in DD's.  They very much intersect.  Frankly it's the whole point of my DD's.  I so admire the creativity of others here with non-romantic DD's, but it's not me.

[Pseudo Life]

I appreciate the above.  Makes me realize that what is 'true' for me is not true for everyone.  Sometime advice is meant for ourselves.   it also shows how many different reasons we day dream.

[Truthful Alibi]

Yes, yes and yes. I've had loads of imaginary boyfriends, have one right now, and I often end up mumbling to myself in my DDs. Not just the romantic ones, I've done that since I used to walk around the playground and DD when I was 8. I used to squeeze my arms into my side to remind myself not to talk while I DDed, lol.