Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
For the past 10 years, I've been locking myself up in my bathroom with my CD player, now Ipod, hearing music and passing back and fourth day dreaming. My parents, think I just like to take long showers, I usually leave the water on, so they don't hear my passing in the bathroom. I moved to college about two years ago and I think It's gotten worse. My roommate thinks I'm a freak. I can't concentrate in classes, I'm failing in all my courses, and my only way to cope is by day dreaming in the bathroom or eating. I've always had problems concentrating in class (especially in math), and the only way I passed high school was because of all the tutoring my parents made me take. I've always told my parents I'm not normal, that I think I have ADD or something, and they just tell me I'm lazy and that I have to mature now. If I don't find a solution I think I may be expelled from college. I can't finish essays, I can't finish any assignment on time, I'm always stressed out and all this makes me feel depressed. I can't take it anymore, I'm at a point in life that I'm actually thinking, If it's even worth it to be alive. My parents have used all of there saving to sent me to college, so I can go and practically throw there money in trash. I want to be normal. I want to be able to wake up, go to the gym, go to class, study and have fun with my friends. I feel like an underachiever and that I don't deserve to have fun or go out with my friends. I've been locking myself up everywhere crying and I don't know what to do. My only solution in daydreaming, thats the only thing that makes me feel better. I do it every day. Sorry for the long message, but I don't know what else to do. thanks for hearing me,
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're not alone. There are hundreds of people that we know of going through this and probably countless more who haven't found the courage to speak up about it. This is something I've battled all my life.
I'm sorry people are judging you this way. It's not fair. This is a very serious issue, and it's not your fault. It's called Maladaptive Daydreaming. One of the biggest side effects is trouble concentrating. I'm in school too and just failed Calculus because of my daydreaming. It's taken me years and years to learn to focus enough to write. Now I'm struggling with math, not because I can't do it, but because I can't focus enough to remember what I'm doing. It's not ADD. It's this condition.
Maladaptive Daydreaming is not an officially recognized condition yet. It's only been studied a few times, and it's not in the DSM, so most people (including doctors) haven't heard about it. The good news is there's a very respectable (and AWESOME) doctor studying it right now. We're working very hard to get the word out and try and find solutions. There are no quick fixes yet. I've posted some tips that people have come up with on the right side of the main page. Right now it's up to us to figure out what helps, but I know we can do it. It's tough to go through, but it's exciting to know that we can help change the world of psychology and help people. It definitely feels better to let it out and know we're not alone.
Anyway, I hope this place can be of comfort to you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.