I want a diagnosis

[Roseanne Sinclair]

I’m fifteen, and have been daydreaming excessively for as long as I can remember. I used to daydream as a relaxation technique, but now do it because I enjoy it, and feel empty without a more creative “alternivitve universe.” Within the past four years, my daydreams have become increasingly vivid. Before I mainly daydreamed before bed (it would take me hours to fall asleep), but now I do it during the day too—about 60 percent of my waking time, like the informal diagnosis suggests. I’ve heard that many md’ers have an attention deficit disorder, but I don’t think I fit the bill for that. I can focus on my daydreams for hours, and with a little bit of reluctance, school related work, for just as long. I have always been a focused person, and can complete tasks without getting distracted, or procrastinating. I’ve never struggled academically, and I can follow complex conversations. I take breaks to daydream while working, but I feel I am in control, and conscious about when I take these breaks. However, if I didn’t take these breaks at all, I don’t think I could function. Could I still have ADD or ADHD? Do you think maladaptive daydreaming is a symptom of a disorder, or a stand-alone disorder. I’ve suspected I have GAD (in addition to feeling anxious I’ve had some physical symptoms like trouble breathing, tension headaches and stress-induced hives), but have felt much less anxious for the past year. I have bulimic tendencies, though I don’t know if that’s relevant. I don’t feel like telling my parents about my maladaptive daydreaming, because I find it embarrassing, and I’m not sure I’m interested in treatment; I’m curious about some sort of diagnosis, but wouldn’t do much with it at this point in my life (at the same time, I can’t see myself daydreaming at this level when I’m an adult, so I may have to do something eventually). Anyone have insight about what disorder I could have (in addition to maladaptive daydreaming), or have similar symptoms and a diagnosis? Is it possible I just have mdd? Sorry this is long winded...