Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Hey everyone, I think I know how I can stop daydreaming now. I daydream because I am incredibly lonely and long for romantic intimacy. Last night I was thinking about it and it actually hurt thinking about how lonely I was and how much I want for someone to understand me. So since I have figured out why I'm doing this, how do I deal with loneliness? 

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Try your best to make some friends! It's a lot easier said than done, but still. Put yourself out in the open, talk to people, make connections. Spend some time with family members if you can, too.

The internet is full of forums and places to gather, too. Try to find people who share interests with you (or even people here on this forum) and see where it takes you. 

It might not bring instant romantic intimacy to your life, but finding friends and people to hang out with/talk to regularly is the first step, and might even take away more of that loneliness than you expected.

What's worse, daydreams contributes to loneliness because it creates separation from others. Because we are running our scripts in the background we fail to make real connections.

Unfortunately, I can't give you any advice here. I just wanted to say that it's exactly what I feel too. I thought about it today as well, when I saw so many couples walking around. And my own romantic intimacy exists only in DDs. Not even mine, to put it correctly, my character's.

And the worst thing is when I force myself to stop DDng and do something helpful instead, I start to feel so desperate, like a total loser. It's some kind of a vicious circle.

Thanks this is really good advice!

Andie S. said:

Try your best to make some friends! It's a lot easier said than done, but still. Put yourself out in the open, talk to people, make connections. Spend some time with family members if you can, too.

The internet is full of forums and places to gather, too. Try to find people who share interests with you (or even people here on this forum) and see where it takes you. 

It might not bring instant romantic intimacy to your life, but finding friends and people to hang out with/talk to regularly is the first step, and might even take away more of that loneliness than you expected.


That's totally true, i just have to keep reminding myself that daydreaming does more bad than good!


Alta Morden said:

What's worse, daydreams contributes to loneliness because it creates separation from others. Because we are running our scripts in the background we fail to make real connections.

Oh man i feel you here. But you know what, even if it doesn't seem like it, it is possible for you to find romantic intimacy with someone in reality because you still can imagine and feel love in your daydreams. It sucks but i find that it's easier to accept and embrace your loneliness and pain rather than DDing since it helps you deal with it. I'm sending u some good vibes hang in there.

Alison said:

Unfortunately, I can't give you any advice here. I just wanted to say that it's exactly what I feel too. I thought about it today as well, when I saw so many couples walking around. And my own romantic intimacy exists only in DDs. Not even mine, to put it correctly, my character's.

And the worst thing is when I force myself to stop DDng and do something helpful instead, I start to feel so desperate, like a total loser. It's some kind of a vicious circle.

That's pretty much the same conclusion I've come to... basically I want someone to love me, to choose me over other people. I really don't have that in my life right now. All my "loved ones" are my very small family who don't actually actively choose to associate with me, they're supposed to because they're family, you know? And all the "friends" I've ever made since elementary school basically only talked to me because we were in shared circumstances (same class or whatever) and stopped talking to me once we weren't anymore. Only in my head do people actually go out of their way to choose to be with me (and if I really analyze it, a lot of the time there's some sort of disastrous circumstance that forces them to bond with me - it's like I can't accept that people would just choose me even in a fantasy).

Don't have any advice to give, just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat (and I suspect a lot of people are). I wonder sometimes if there's any point to trying to make close friends, because society seems so focused on romantic relationships as being your ultimate support source, and most people you're going to try to make friends with are already in a relationship so they're not going to need you the same way you need them.

Yes I feel lonely too, and inadequate as a person. I also have romantic daydreams as well as those where Im some sort of hero who does something great so to say. I guess its good that youve identified the source of the problem. I was in a relationship some time back and it didnt really help..lol..but maybe thats because it didnt help with the esteem probz..Thing is even when I tried stopping I kinda missed it, I felt like I was being urged to daydream. But give it a go, try find someone u like spending time with and see if it helps..and maybe let us know..

I got involved in doing volunteer work and joined a new church. It has meetup groups and the inter action has been very good for me. Also, I am paying close attention to the news. The world is getting worse and worse and I don't want to waste anymore of my life daydreaming. I want to be doing good things to better myself and life for others while I have the time. Life is but a vapor and it is a crime to waste it. These things have helped me STOP a daydream before it starts. Above all I  have been doing lots of research on MD. There is always a trigger that  sends a person into a dream and for me it was the massive amounts of music I listened to. I have gradually gotten rid of my massive music collection and even threw out my MP3 player. Sounds drastic but it has cut down the dreaming by 50%.  

God Bless you and I hope  you find someone who is just right for you to cure your loneliness !! Until then pray to God.

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