i need help with my social anxiety due to talking to myself

[Ariel Kozak]

My name Is Ariel and im 16 im also a Male with a female name due to my parents being Argentinian, but anyways ever since i could remember i was always talking to myself, commenting on what i was doing at that moment, or playing legos and just totaly zoning out on my little lego world and making names and personalitys for all my lego people  would spend ours and night on my lego worlds and even keep a story line for a week. i would talk to myself about that story, and think about it and how i could extend it..But that was when i was around 8-12 years old. this is where my story begins. around my freshmen year of high school, when i realize that im having trouble talking to poeple and it sucked i was so harsh on myself. i would be depressed all day after school. still am. somedays i would be happy for no reason but at the end of the day i would look back at what i did throughout  that day and i would get so depressed about what i did to humiliate my self or even do something that would make me look weird or stupid or whatever. i know that im not supose to care,and i know that what it means to these people at school is nothing that i act stupid or weird, i just cant make myself believe that.  i cant make myself believe that its okay to not give a crap about what anyone thinks about me. i just want to be myself. but everytime i go back into a social situation i cant be myself and i fake all these damm things i say and tell. most of the time i say something i wouldent of said if i just took the time to think without having anxiety and all this unnecessary preasure..to change to subject i usually would talk to myself when it comes down to a mirror or anytime im alone..i would fantasias mostly when i listen to music its like a high sometimes i would get addicted to it for the moment. i talked to my mom about my my issue and she took my to the doctor and gave my pills, they didnt work, and now im on busparine, this stuff does not work at all. i still think negatively about everything and sometimes i would feel so goo in school then if im alone like in the beginng of school i feel so sepressed bc  have no one to talk to, i hate these feelings

[Mill]

Dude. I went though the same thing. Everything that  you're experiencing right now, I experienced. I totally feel you man. You're not alone. I still feel the same way actually a lot of the time. We're the same. 

It's not ok for you to be in the position that you're in. You don't need to tell yourself you're not supposed to care. No one deserves to have such a rough time at such a young age. Everyone needs someone they can talk to, or at least have the abilities to express themselves to a listening audience. 

The quietest people have the loudest minds. Remember that. It can take some time but you can improve the position. 

[yoya yoya]

Hi Ariel , i'm 21 female  and my name means Monkey in my language :D , i passed through all of that especially that depression matter and having no one to talk with.

actually realizing that i suffer from MDD helped me by about 70 % , i'll go through it directly. Read on google or maybe here Stories of those who have MDD for more than 50 or 60 years Means all their life , and how did they regret not accomplishing anything at their lives will make you afraid to be one of them , or to ask yourself maybe one day will be like them -with respect-.

i was DDing since childhood and suddenly am 21 :O that's wired ,i didn't do or accomplish anything at all , but by realizing that am not alone , but their is a lot like me or even more complicated than me , i managed to Stop to be different , to minimize it at least . reading those ppl stories really motivated me not to be one of them .

I used to fake all things that i say Cause i have no real thing to say : cause apparently i spent my whole time DDing , try to join music classes , kick boxing , try to do anything unusual and you will find your self talking about it confidently with public like those who keep telling their stories about swimming 1000 Kilo meters and i doubt that they can swim in their bath tube loool  !

I used to have social anxiety out of nothing , but when somebody talks to you, try to focus in his eyes , concentrate , take breath and don't reply unless you know well in your head what are you going to say , believe me many politicians do the same .... i did it , ppl won't panish you for replying them 1 min late , by practicing them you will be able to reply immediately in the soon future.

when you find a group of ppl , you think they won't accept me , they talk and i don't know what to say , i' keep my mouth zipped , they will think i'm boring and they will reject me . That's not true , try to participate , don't say anything just listen and feel comfortable , spread smiles and see what will happen . tell your class  mates that you are anxious around new ppl but damm i'm a different person when u know me , ask them to give you time to be around them. it's all about you inner negative thoughts.

listening to music is very popular , i guess it's because it distracts and isolates u from the outer world , and as you are pacing , so of course all of us need a fast high beat music . just when u do it try to think about being 60 years old with nothing but pacing in your house , time that already and will be wasted .

at last how long did u try the medication , issues like Fluvoxamine may take up to weeks and months to feel the different ??

Good luck buddy , focus on your future ...Skills ...live , love who are you , try doing friendships gradually , search for behavioral social phobia therapy  and i'm here for you of course :)

[Ariel Kozak]

Hey i didnt quite get your name but thank for the advice. i would usually go to school with the thought of just relaxinging and thinkng before i say soething but like half way throught a class i would forget about it completly, and the reason is because i have friends and i talk and i laugh.BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME WHYY AM I SO DEPRESSED AFTERWARDS. ill tell you why because i want to be cool and friends with everyone and i want to be popular and having a couple friends isnt good enough for me...well thats not how i really am thats how i feel. i actually just want a few friends and good ones that i can trust. my mind is so messed up from all of my childhood. because as a kid i wanted all power i was manipulative i wanted to be king.  i got angery with everyone in my family. my mom said it was pure evil. i would stay of my roof for hours as my parents cool down. i would kill bugs light fires break things. as i look back now. it seemed that this kid would have turned out to be a psycopath.. But no just a little weird kid that is afraid of what others think about him.... when i got drunk it was amazing,,,,BOOM pure control of my mind. i wanted to cry it was such a relife. real feling towrds people actually interested in the conversations. laughing. it was so sharp so vivid. i was not totaly drunk but i was the center of attention, all these people that didnt know me thought i was the coolest kid ever. it was literally the best day of my life. And that became my drug of choice i would do it n school and go wild, but not to wild bc i would be disciplined in my head.(quick subject change). when i was in isolation i would talking to myself as if my body and my voice are two different people and i would punch myself and beatmyself up to discipline myself if i did something wrong. or if my dad would piss me off i would like hook myself. lol that was funny as i look back.. but as i was drunk i had so much discipline and self control. it was the best. i could say i got drunk durring  my sophmore year about 30 -40 times. and this year about 15. i actually learn more in school when im drunk because i actually talk with the teachers about the subject and i would do my work. it was the best thing of my life. but i know i couldent do this forever becuse ill eventually have some health problems.. so i went on with medecation meditation and that didnt work. oh yeah   to answer your question i took zoloft lexapro and some other one i forget the name. and i have been taking aderall for a while i rarely take that. only if i have a test or something. because aderall actually makes my social for 1 hour and then i get all serious and depressed bc i want to hang with people and i want to be outgoing but i dont have that skill :(..i have ths friend named angelo and he has my same problem and we would hangout all day, but this school year all of a sudden he started hanging out with some friends and now is all social. but i see in his eyes when he talkes to people he feels akward and basically fakes all his words and tryes to be cool. and now my emotions are being bitchy and now im all depressed awww. i just want to fu**ing destroy all these feeling and be myself I DONT WANT TO CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID THING IN MY MIND ABOUT BEING POPULAR AND FITTING IN ALL I WANT IS HAPYNESS AND TO NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME..i want to be myself. and live up to what my dreams are. and not dreaming about being popular..most of my daydreaming is with regular people and just talking to them in a regular way  i rarely fantysiez when i day dream.. its just me and a gruop of firend having fun. because thats all i want...Well this afternoon when i came back from school i was making some hamburgers and sauseges on a grill with my friend angelo, and half way through making them he had to leave with what he calls his 'friends' anf so i had to eat them myself. but them my mom came outsdie and sits down and eats one of the hamburgers so i start to tell her about my problem as i did once before, which was so hard.. and i told her i had maladaptive day dreaming. and she just made an appointment with my doctor to sceduale for a therepist. so yeah im n my room just typing this stuff. i just like talking about my problems.

Hi Ariel , i'm 21 female  and my name means Monkey in my language :D , i passed through all of that especially that depression matter and having no one to talk with.

actually realizing that i suffer from MDD helped me by about 70 % , i'll go through it directly. Read on google or maybe here Stories of those who have MDD for more than 50 or 60 years Means all their life , and how did they regret not accomplishing anything at their lives will make you afraid to be one of them , or to ask yourself maybe one day will be like them -with respect-.

i was DDing since childhood and suddenly am 21 :O that's wired ,i didn't do or accomplish anything at all , but by realizing that am not alone , but their is a lot like me or even more complicated than me , i managed to Stop to be different , to minimize it at least . reading those ppl stories really motivated me not to be one of them .

I used to fake all things that i say Cause i have no real thing to say : cause apparently i spent my whole time DDing , try to join music classes , kick boxing , try to do anything unusual and you will find your self talking about it confidently with public like those who keep telling their stories about swimming 1000 Kilo meters and i doubt that they can swim in their bath tube loool  !

I used to have social anxiety out of nothing , but when somebody talks to you, try to focus in his eyes , concentrate , take breath and don't reply unless you know well in your head what are you going to say , believe me many politicians do the same .... i did it , ppl won't panish you for replying them 1 min late , by practicing them you will be able to reply immediately in the soon future.

when you find a group of ppl , you think they won't accept me , they talk and i don't know what to say , i' keep my mouth zipped , they will think i'm boring and they will reject me . That's not true , try to participate , don't say anything just listen and feel comfortable , spread smiles and see what will happen . tell your class  mates that you are anxious around new ppl but damm i'm a different person when u know me , ask them to give you time to be around them. it's all about you inner negative thoughts.

listening to music is very popular , i guess it's because it distracts and isolates u from the outer world , and as you are pacing , so of course all of us need a fast high beat music . just when u do it try to think about being 60 years old with nothing but pacing in your house , time that already and will be wasted .

at last how long did u try the medication , issues like Fluvoxamine may take up to weeks and months to feel the different ??

Good luck buddy , focus on your future ...Skills ...live , love who are you , try doing friendships gradually , search for behavioral social phobia therapy  and i'm here for you of course :)

[yoya yoya]

it's a little bit complicated . Ariel, try to hate the feeling of being popular . try to do what cheers you up , watch stand up comedies it's helpful .and you will find yourself hating draydreaming when you DD avout being popular . that may help you i don't know . Good luck .

i'm here if you need to ask about anything cause i think we share the same case .

[The1andonlyAbber]

Trust me, being popular isn't as cool and fun as it seems.