I’m not alone! - Just joined this site

[Rosandro]

Hello!

I have been struggling with MD pretty much my whole life. Joining this community is making me feel so much better, realising how I’m not alone! As a kid, I thought it was a simple play-pretend; I was creating characters, playing them, creating stories. I had my own world, with my own characters, would spend so much time in it, which was more than the other kids around me, but since I’m a creative mind, I thought it was normal. However, I grew up and the world never disappeared; it evolved, deepened, became more complex. For years, I thought I was childish, still playing kid’s games, and thought I would outgrow it. But I never did. During teenages, I started doing researches on Google, and found almost nothing at the time. Just one blog, one message somewhere of someone describing similar things. Then over time, I read about MD and to know it had a name, that it was an actual mechanism, not just being childish, changed my life. Today, I understand my mechanism a lot better, but that doesn’t seem to help to control it. I tried consulting, and the results were short termed. I think the hardest thing is that I know how detrimental it is in my life; I can lose hours in a day, and go to sleep when the sun gets out! but at the same time, it feels so good, it’s so addictive that I don’t want to stop either, even when I know the trouble it causes me.
I wanted to share my story, because I have never really got the chance to do so or to feel validated personally. I think this is why this blog is so great!

ps: my username, Rosandro, is the couple’s name of the two main characters in my story!

[SA]

Thank you for sharing your story. 

I am a Maladaptive Daydreamer too. I have been at it since my teenage. At this point, I am at a stage where I have processed a decent chunk of my repressed emotions that MD was covering. I can stay without daydreaming. 

It seems you are still captivated by it. Meaning, MD is still your life force. 
The only compassionate suggestion I can give you is to sit with yourself without MD. You have to physically stop engaging with it so you can know what is the underlying trauma it's covering. It is always covering something. Sit with yourself and you will find out.