I'm new to this, feedback appreciated.

[Jessica]

I hope I am in the right place. I am in my later twenties and after almost 15 years I need answers. I have done a lot of research to get here, and have read some of your thoughts and struggles, but I wanted to explain my story a little more. Basically, I make up scenarios in my head with a specific person. Any celebrity or even normal person I'm attracted to. It's hard for me to simply call it daydreaming when it takes up my entire life. Just for reference, I'm a female attracted to males. I have probably had over 50 people I have done this with. I pretend we're dating, married, etc. and it lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a few months depending on the situation. In certain situations if the person gets a girlfriend (some situations I imagine with someone who's already married, just FYI) then I feel sick and heartbroken. Most recently, the current person I am imagining doesn't have a girlfriend but if they so much as follow a girl on Instagram I become anxious and upset. This world of make believe has caused my education to fail, and strained many relationships. I am still outgoing and attend social events, but often when I'm there I am secretly pretending I'm this other person as well. That's another thing - it began as an adaptation, a better version if you will, of myself, but in recent years I develop a whole other person. I do more often than not stay in though, because when I'm alone I am freer to imagine. This is very hard to talk about, but I'm hoping for some insight from anyone who can relate in anyway. Thank you.

[debbie downer]

this is interesting to me because many people on here seem to have a single "cast" of characters that they daydream about for years at a time, although i have seen people who switch it up every few months like you do.

i'm 20 and i've had MD since i was 9. i'm extremely boy crazy, so it's no surprise that my daydreams have also always revolved around romance. my main/favorite character is my dream guy (pun intended), and his girlfriend is the idealized version of myself. he's been my daydream boyfriend since i was 12 and it hasn't changed since then. in real life, i get crushes on guys SO easily and one of my first thoughts whenever i go somewhere is "i hope there are cute boys" ...but the guy that i daydream about has stayed the same for years. i feel like it's because i'm sort of addicted to guys (that sounds bad but whatever) and i know my daydream guy won't let me down.

i didn't have my first boyfriend until i was 18. we dated for a year, and during that time, my daydreaming decreased by a LOT because my boyfriend gave me the attention that i needed and i didn't feel like i had to daydream about my made up guy. then, when we broke up, my daydreaming increased a lot. i feel like my MD might stop when i get married because then i'll have a guy who can always give me attention. does your daydreaming decrease when you're dating someone?

[Jessica]

Thanks for replying! It definitely decreases. I've only had 2 boyfriends but it goes away completely, except sometimes when they're not around I pretend they're still there when I'm doing everyday things.

[SJ]

Hi Jessica

Everything you have written sounds exactly like my MD. I'm in my early 30s and have daydreamed what feels like my whole life. It started as daydreaming about having siblings (I'm an only child) and then when I hit my teens all of my daydreams have been about relationships with male celebrities or TV characters.

When I look back my daydreams have changed from celebrity to celebrity over the years and can be sparked from watching an interview or a film or TV show. If I find them attractive suddenly they are in my thoughts. The same as you it can last a few weeks to months at a time. My current daydream I've had for nearly a year, sometimes I am a better version of myself in their world or sometimes I imagine them being in my real life world-meeting my friends and family.

I sometimes have even daydreamed and relived times out with friends and put my "crush" into the evening.

I even have 1 celebrity that I occasionally have gone back to over the years.

I have written in another discussion how ashamed I feel of myself sometimes as I tend to follow their social media accounts and also watch films and interviews with the "crush " I have at the time. I've started to restrict myself to checking social media once per day but especially at the beginning I am curious to find out about the person.

My daydreaming cuts down when I have been in relationships or I am attracted to someone in real life . I am trying to cut down on my daydreaming but I am finding it extremely difficult. I can sometimes become frustrated and miserable if I don't have time to myself to daydream and I have cancelled some social events to stay in especially when I am feeling extremely stressed or lonely- which is ironic really.

I am curious do you live alone? I am looking to move out alone but have a fear of becoming isolated and daydreaming more.