Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I love being in love with him. And I managed to overcome much of the maladaptive daydreaming. However, when I'm by myself, my mind starts to wonder. I sometimes daydream, but avoid romantic and sexual daydreams. I'm still worried about the idea of sexual daydreams because I don't want to daydream about anyone aside from my partner. I'm worried I might accidentally start having sexual daydreams.
I have daydreamed about my partner before, and I ended up feeling giggly and awkward afterward when I spoke to him. I haven't had sexual or romantic daydreams about anyone but my partner since meeting him...but I'm still scared of somehow falling back in the old habit.
Those of you who have significant others, how does MD affect your life?
Rachel Ann - I have told him about the MD...I didn't tell him the full extent of it or many specific details (yet), but he is understanding about it. Thanks so much for your congratulations!
Roxanne - I'm happy for you. It's great to know that people with MD can still live rich, rewarding lives.
Paige - I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time...and hope you and your husband find a way to pull closer together. Does he know about your MD?
Right now I have this strange fear of being somehow "mentally unfaithful" or something.
There is a particular character that I used to get all fangirly and obsessive over. I don't have sexual fantasies or romantic fantasies about him anymore...but in the daydreams (I still daydream, just not as much), he is a friend...someone who thinks highly of me...but just a friend...nothing remotely sexual or romantic. I tend to sort of use characters to reflect information back at me somehow...like, they help me see different perspectives somehow. It helps me to absorb and process information, I think.
If it wasn't this character, it'd be someone else.
But surrounding this character (and the other characters in his story) is a fandom that I really enjoy being a part of. It adds many wonderful things to my life. So I don't want to just stop being a fan because of the occasional intrusive thought.
But I recently became upset because seeing some new things about this character made me remember why I used to fangirl over him. I still didn't start fantasizing sexually or romantically about him...but I had these sort of memory flashbacks where I sort of felt the memories of how I used to feel...without them being how I really feel in the present time (if that makes any sense at all). I felt my face flush a bit and I forced myself to not think of the character for a while...for fear of some kind of dormant fangirl-self emerging somehow (if there is one lol). I have OCD and one of my obsessions is that I don't even want to think of another man sexually or romantically for even a second. I only want to think of the man I love that way.
So no sexual/romantic fantasies unless they're of my man.
I'm grateful that I don't daydream as much as I used to...and that since meeting my bf, I have been able to watch videos of the character even in romantic and somewhat sexual situations, without putting mentally myself in the situation even once...or even wanting to be in that situation (in the place of the girl he was seducing).
I guess I'm just afraid of the idea of being a fangirl again and daydreaming maladaptively like I used to...I would feel unfaithful...even though if it turned out I did have a "crush" on that character, I don't think it would be unfaithful...lots of people have crushes in relationships...I don't want to be with that character in a romantic or sexual way, either in real life or in a fantasy. But my OCD won't let me stop worrying.