I don't know the difference anymore

[SwanInTheWater]

I've been daydreaming about being in a relationship with this guy for a year now. Daydreams are so vivid, so realistic that all the feelings are there. This guy exists in real life, so I use his actual personality but he is living on another coast. When I daydream about him, the feelings I have for him inspire me to write prose and poetry. I have never been more inspired by anything or anyone. 

The problem is, the love feels so real. And I don't know what's real or not anymore. Do I love this guy? Or are my daydreams causing a chemical reaction and giving me the illusion that I am in love? I did make out a list of likes and dislikes about him and nothing on that list was trivial (or made up), but I still do not know the difference.

Am I delusional? How can I tell?

[Kathy]

Swan, I'm not sure.  How well do you know him? Do you know if he has feelings for you?

[SwanInTheWater]

I know him as much as you might know a friend you've known for 6-12 months. I am not sure how he feels about me, only that we get along and have a similar way of thinking...

[SwanInTheWater]

Thanks, I think you're right it just gets a bit confusing putting real people into it...

[taffle]

I was in a similar situation several years ago. I had a crush on one of my classmates in high school; I would daydream about him a lot. In my daydreams, I used his actual appearance but I took out many personality flaws of his. I also made him more romantic and imagined that he liked me back.

This made me very confused because I'm not sure if I'm infatuated with the real life person or the daydream version of him. After high school, I decided to give it a shot and chatted with him on IM. I then confessed to him that I liked him, but he then rejected me. I didn't see that coming and was very devastated. The daydreams still persist, I still imagine a different outcome and a different future with him. But, I gradually got over it.

Now, I don't daydream about real people anymore.