I am new here

[cortney earnest]

Trying to understand what is going on in my brain, I have been dealing with accessive daydreaming... Mostly bad, I create scenerio's in my head all the time, and it drives me nuts.

I get scared of alot of things because of it. Not wanting it to happen to me for whatever I am

daydreaming about. Plus I create daydreams of past bad things that have happened to me that

I still carry with me to this day.

[J Noland]

Hello, boy you are in the right place here. Everyone has great insights and stories to relate to. Even some people bravely trying to wean off the dd'ing. I'm always happy to know there's lots of us out there!

[cortney earnest]

do I fall under the category of having DD? I wouldn't know.. My past therapist said its just a form of anxiety.

J Noland said:

Hello, boy you are in the right place here. Everyone has great insights and stories to relate to. Even some people bravely trying to wean off the dd'ing. I'm always happy to know there's lots of us out there!

[J Noland]

Well I can't say if you have maladaptive daydreaming. It sounds like you have daydreams that you either don't like or they upset you somehow. I hope you find some comfort here knowing that there are other people with similar issues. 

cortney earnest said:

do I fall under the category of having DD? I wouldn't know.. My past therapist said its just a form of anxiety.

J Noland said:

Hello, boy you are in the right place here. Everyone has great insights and stories to relate to. Even some people bravely trying to wean off the dd'ing. I'm always happy to know there's lots of us out there!

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I noticed a lot of people are doing this again, so I'm going to speak up.  Every time we start a new discussion, we bury old discussions that might have relevant info to someone looking at this site.  Out of 10 discussions, 3 are just people sharing about themselves.  When you're just sharing, I think it belongs more in a blog.  You're welcome here, and I hope you can find some comfort.  Just please be mindful about starting new discussions.  Look through the old ones first and add on if it's the same type of thing.  Thanks.  

[cortney earnest]

Hello Gloriana, yes I create scenerio's of bad situations, I could name many that I've done in my own head, to the point where it affected me physically.. Like either I will make a big sigh, trying to catch my breath, or I will squinch my eyes as if what ever I thought about was attacking me. Mostly I would think about physical fights between me and my family members, or past traumatic experiences I've had due to family members. It's just constant.

Gloriana Soho said:

Cortney,

 

Do you only daydream about unpleasant memories/situations or do you also spend time daydreaming about pleasant things? If your daydreaming is reliving things from your past, or potential situations that frighten you, it definitely sounds to me like you're having trouble coping with traumatic emotional events for sure.

 

The whole 'maladaptive daydreaming' thing isn't even considered a recognized diagnosis yet, when I was in therapy we discussed my own daydreaming problems at face value and never used that term, I was seeing her mainly for anxiety and depression. So I think therapists on the whole would naturally just approach the daydreaming aspects under the heading of anxiety and depression.

 

The basic 'symptom' list and info are located on the home page of this site. Unfortunately, we're not licensed professionals here and even if we were, the 'diagnosis' of MDD isn't actually accepted by the psychotherapy community yet, so it's a hard call to make unless you yourself are sure. Still, if your life is being stopped in its tracks and you spend hours and hours worth of time just daydreaming (good or bad), I think it would probably qualify as an MDD situation.

 

For now, I'd say just keep reading up around here and see if someone has contributed stories or tips for the same things you experience. Keep talking about it. If you're being consumed by negative thoughts and daydreams of frightening scenarios, it might be that you're trying to prepare yourself  for harm and protect yourself from harm. I experienced much emotional trauma as a child and I was a rather terrified person for a long time myself, between the ages of 18 and 24 I had a hard time holding down jobs or socializing because of panic attacks and an all-around feeling of dread hanging on me. Sometimes I didn't leave my apartment for weeks except to get groceries. This was all emotional trauma hanging around inside me that I had not properly dealt with or faced up to.

 

It's hard to give advice on it because everyone is different. I remember it never used to help me when people said "You've got to face your fears head on" because I would think "You don't understand how terrifying this is". Nothing helped me until I came to the point I decided to face it myself, and unfortunately, I had to get to a point of almost a full-on nervous breakdown before I did. I am not sure if anything I could say would help, but I know I did start to find hope and help through reading A TON of books on anxiety, depression, etc. A couple of books I'd recommend:

 

Feeling Good - Dr. David D. Burns:

This teaches cognitive therapy techniques, and what I found helpful was the fact it deals with working on thought patterns in the here and now rather than delving too much into the past. For me, it helped me get on my feet and relieve anxious pressure in my mind enough that I was finally able to feel strong enough to go to the next step of facing my past. Maybe it might help.

 

The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron:

A lot of people here seem to love this book too, as it is very specialized in its focus on extremely sensitive and anxious individuals. It's not preachy or pushy, it's very even-handed and a lot of the personal accounts in it from people struggling lend a lot of comfort because they're finally something to relate to.

 

Maybe see if you can find them, and have a look. Just keep reading and reaching out, in addition to the books there are also loads of message boards and advice sites just like this one that may prove helpful to you. Just like therapists, you may have to search through a handful of crappy sites before finding ones you feel secure and safe with, but it's not impossible.

 

Good luck!!

[cortney earnest]

Well I believe the new people that sign up, want to get it off their chest what they are dealing with, to see if there is anyone on this website that understands or can give advice. That is all it is. This forum seems to be about the situation I and others are explaining. If you didn't want it to be about just that, then maybe label the forum about something else, so people don't get the wrong idea.

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

I noticed a lot of people are doing this again, so I'm going to speak up.  Every time we start a new discussion, we bury old discussions that might have relevant info to someone looking at this site.  Out of 10 discussions, 3 are just people sharing about themselves.  When you're just sharing, I think it belongs more in a blog.  You're welcome here, and I hope you can find some comfort.  Just please be mindful about starting new discussions.  Look through the old ones first and add on if it's the same type of thing.  Thanks.  

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I welcome introductions.  I'm just stating that I'd rather they be done in blogs because if we all make a new discussion to introduce ourselves, then we'll bury important topics.  I also think that people don't always understand where to put things, so I thought I'd clarify.  If I don't speak up, then no one will know how I feel about this.  

cortney earnest said:

Well I believe the new people that sign up, want to get it off their chest what they are dealing with, to see if there is anyone on this website that understands or can give advice. That is all it is. This forum seems to be about the situation I and others are explaining. If you didn't want it to be about just that, then maybe label the forum about something else, so people don't get the wrong idea.

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

I noticed a lot of people are doing this again, so I'm going to speak up.  Every time we start a new discussion, we bury old discussions that might have relevant info to someone looking at this site.  Out of 10 discussions, 3 are just people sharing about themselves.  When you're just sharing, I think it belongs more in a blog.  You're welcome here, and I hope you can find some comfort.  Just please be mindful about starting new discussions.  Look through the old ones first and add on if it's the same type of thing.  Thanks.  

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Gloriana,

 

First of all, I find your response to be confrontational and unnecessary.  You may say that you respect me on here, but you didn't go searching all over my site to find an argument against my post out of respect.  I think that being honest and forthcoming is the exact right thing to do in this situation.  People should be strong enough to handle my simply telling them how I feel.  It's the kind of respect that I would want from my site moderator.  I don't expect people to read my mind, and no, I don't have rules posted.  

 

Second of all, there's not a lot of place to add text on here.  I had to delete things just to add more text boxes already.  Ning has its limits.  I'm not even sure if there's room for me to add a page with rules.  Plus, I don't have a lot of rules aside from a few things that I think are obvious, like being respectful.  I know some people on here are sensitive.  I'm sensitive, too, but I also expect that they're grown-up enough to handle simply being told how I feel.  I don't think I was rude or belittling at all.  I'm just telling them because they're not mind-readers.  I do think it's common knowledge in forums that you should check to be sure a topic hasn't been brought up before you start a new discussion.  I really don't think that needs saying, but when someone forgets, I think it's my job and my prerogative to remind them.  That's what site moderation is, in part.  I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  

 

If you dislike the above or feel incapable of being politely told how I feel, then you don't have to stay here.  I don't really like being told off like that on my own site.  Sensitive as I am, I think I'm a pretty nice and honest person.  I don't think I deserve being spoken to in this way.  I hope you'll reconsider your response and whether it was called for.  I think it wasn't.  

 

Gloriana Soho said:

Cordelia,

 

Is there a list somewhere on this site of your personal rules and guidelines, or FAQs? I looked when I first got here, but I didn't find anything but the generic terms of service buried at the bottom of the front page.

 

If they're here somewhere, maybe it would be good to feature them on the front page or sticky them to the top of the forum section. If you haven't made one, I personally think it's unfair to go post-by-post reprimanding brand new people like this when you haven't even given them a chance to peruse a set of your rules. You have every right to make them, you're the creator here, I'm not arguing that. If you want certain things put in certain places, let people know. If you want things done a certain way, let people know. 

 

I just think it's alienating and rather undiplomatic to do it this way when you could have contacted them all privately and just made a separate "Please Read" section to address the problem with everyone else at large, seeing as you can't even guarantee everyone here will be looking at these posts anyhow. 

 

I'm not looking to start gratuitous trouble here, I hope you know that. Like I said, I do completely understand and respect your initial concerns, it's just I feel handling it this way was rather harsh toward brand new folks.

 

 

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

P.S.  You didn't look when you first got here; you looked today.  I know that because I was watching the site at the time.  

Gloriana Soho said:

Cordelia,

 

Is there a list somewhere on this site of your personal rules and guidelines, or FAQs? I looked when I first got here, but I didn't find anything but the generic terms of service buried at the bottom of the front page.

 

If they're here somewhere, maybe it would be good to feature them on the front page or sticky them to the top of the forum section. If you haven't made one, I personally think it's unfair to go post-by-post reprimanding brand new people like this when you haven't even given them a chance to peruse a set of your rules. You have every right to make them, you're the creator here, I'm not arguing that. If you want certain things put in certain places, let people know. If you want things done a certain way, let people know. 

 

I just think it's alienating and rather undiplomatic to do it this way when you could have contacted them all privately and just made a separate "Please Read" section to address the problem with everyone else at large, seeing as you can't even guarantee everyone here will be looking at these posts anyhow. 

 

I'm not looking to start gratuitous trouble here, I hope you know that. Like I said, I do completely understand and respect your initial concerns, it's just I feel handling it this way was rather harsh toward brand new folks.

 

 

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Gloriana has chosen to send me an angry message and then leave.  Do you all feel that my little response was so inappropriate?  What else was I supposed to do?  Is everyone so fragile that I simply can't respond and say "Please post those in blogs" without everyone feeling assaulted?

[Skylar Grey]

no no, you were right in doing so. Of course you werent trying to be rude or anything you were just clarifying how this website works to a person who is new to it. It needs to be said. You made a major point saying important topics could be buried if things about more personal questions and comments are posted in the forum section. I hope cortney now knows where things like this belong and it was an honest mistake. NOBODY is at fault here

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Gloriana has chosen to send me an angry message and then leave.  Do you all feel that my little response was so inappropriate?  What else was I supposed to do?  Is everyone so fragile that I simply can't respond and say "Please post those in blogs" without everyone feeling assaulted?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Thanks.  

lizzy Maslow said:

no no, you were right in doing so. Of course you werent trying to be rude or anything you were just clarifying how this website works to a person who is new to it. It needs to be said. You made a major point saying important topics could be buried if things about more personal questions and comments are posted in the forum section. I hope cortney now knows where things like this belong and it was an honest mistake. NOBODY is at fault here

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Gloriana has chosen to send me an angry message and then leave.  Do you all feel that my little response was so inappropriate?  What else was I supposed to do?  Is everyone so fragile that I simply can't respond and say "Please post those in blogs" without everyone feeling assaulted?