Hi so I’m new to understanding what I’ve experienced since I was a child has been MD. Genuinely thought I was slowly losing the plot or just had an overactive imagination.

So like many who experience this, my main trigger is music. I have taken plots and characters from cartoons and films since I was little and created multiple storylines that somehow all meet together. Some of them I do find disturbing that I would chose to escape into stories that are so dark.

Now, I find that when I MD it’s genuinely the only time I have for myself and the only thing I can do and the only thing that kind of keeps me going.

It does worry me when I feel that I sometimes speak out the MD or start acting it out. It makes me worried that it may evolve into something less controllable.

I know that it can be something good to have but I kind of fear it taking over in a way. I don’t know what others have done to take a bit more of control in a way? One thing I’ve seen is “avoid your triggers”, my main trigger being music, I can’t really give that up. Don’t know if others have advice on this?

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I feel that people don't like me. I want them to like me, but not many of them do. It's like they think I'm not socially there, dead-faced and distant. I wonder if maybe they think "I don't like them" or I'm just seem so unfriendly. I'm come off as extremely quiet, timid and unsmiling. They might even think I'm plain weird. Either of the bunch, it makes me feel frustrated. All I can guess, is I give them an impression "I don't socialize" and I must not have any friends. They is the key reason why I started maladaptive daydreaming in the first place. Then everything just slid down, because I daydreamed too much. I really wish that I communicated with everyone, instead of keeping it all to myself. I was in a RUT for years, because I couldn't just get out. In a way, this whole thing is tearing me apart. My way of life breaks me. I wanted so much more—what happened?

I feel that being a dreamer just digs me a bigger, deeper hole. It doesn't make life more uplifting and people don't like me and they reject me. I stopped MD because it doesn't make me a happier person. It just blows everything up. So I'm glad I stopped it. 


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