Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I'm just curious if there is a connection. When I was in school I got teased a lot and didn't have many friends. I'd spend a great deal of time in my room watching movies, listening to music and being in my own little world. Til this day I'm still an outsider, I have 0 friends. The only people I associate with are my children, husband, parents and sister. Even my extended family doesn't really accept me. I don't like being by people in general.
I think for me it might be an issue..maybe because I'm no accepted in the real world and have low self esteem, I wonder off into my fantasy land in my head. Just a thought.
I was an outcast as a child, and it seems I still am. When I was young, I didn't speak often or bother to make friends. I was the kid who sat in the back of class, and who, when I did finally speak up and say something, everyone would turn to and gawk at or say "I didn't know she could speak!"
I'm still a bit like that… I don't speak often, but I do make an effort to have friends. Sadly, as an adult, making friends has become a lot harder… and it seems I have missed the chance I had to do so as a child. I'm surrounded by amazing people, but I don't hold the same interests as them. I've gotten to the point where I have 'friends' who will stop to say hi to me in the hall, but won't bother to invite me to the big party on Friday night. I guess those are what we call acquaintances?
I'm 15, and am definitely an outcast. I have friends and all, they're just not people i can connect to, or relate to at all.
So i just like to keep quiet, and keep to my own thoughts and observe situations instead of getting involved. Usually when I'm alone at school I'll read, or daydream while listening to music. :/
I was also severely bullied in primary school, sooo I'm guessing that's what triggered my daydreams to begin with.
I was an outcast. The main reason was because my daydreaming was near constant as a child, and it caused me to become behind in my social skills since I made very few connections with others. I can't remember a time in school that I wasn't daydreaming. To me, school was a prison that forced me to sit still when all I wanted to do was pace around and daydream. It was all about going in and getting out as fast as possible, so I never put a ton of effort into making friends even though I was very friendly and loved having them. I mostly played with children that lived in my neighborhood instead.
In middle school I made a few friends, but only one or two that I actually ever hung outside of school with. I was bullied every day by everyone else because of how quiet I was and the fact that I had to wear big glasses.
High school the bullying died down a lot, though freshman year had it moments...I made a lot of friends.
However most of these were also kids who were considered weird. Many of them had social problems and I remember times when they treated me pretty crappy. The good thing is many of my closest friends are people I still text and hang out with today.
I'm in college now, and I know my social skills still aren't perfect, but they are much better than they were before. I also exchanged my glasses for contacts, learned how to use makeup, got work experience, and despite the social anxiety that is still with me from being bullied, I put myself in situations to purposely meet people.
I think there definitely is a connection between being an outcast and MDD. People who are outcasts are often introverts,and introverts are sensitive to stessors in the outside world. I think this inability to deal with a ton of outside stimulation is what causes some of these people to relax through daydreaming, which may become addictive and develop into MD. This is why I think I've become addicted to daydreaming.
I didn't have many friends when I was a small child, and blame the shit out of my mom for it. Never been to kindergarden, never brought back kids home to play. Had one family friend who was 8 years older than me and mentally challenged (not using it as an insult, she actually was.) I sincerely think had I been encouraged to make friends I'd not have MD or have it significantly less because...
I was a loner in grade 7. Outcast, totally. Not poor-poor but definitely didn't dress in stylish clothes. Introverted to the nth degree. And, not to toot my own horn or anything, much smarter than most of the class. So all of that got me made fun of, isolated.
So in lieu of having real friends I made some up. Started out as just two, then it grew over the years. Even as I made real life friends and got into relationships, the MD characters stayed.