Hi! New here :-)

[Diane Patten]

Hi everyone, newbie here.

I was so stunned when, a few hours ago, I did a google search for "living in a fantasy world" and found more than song lyrics! That there are so many doing what I have been calling "my stories" really stunned me. My doc sure thinks I am nuts! :-/

 

Anyway, I am 41 years old and have  been doing my stories for as long as I can remember. I come from a very dysfunctional family and took solace in my make believe worlds with my make believe friends for a long time.  I broke from my stories to leave home, have 3 kids and a marriage that ended in divorce, and go to college and get a degree.  But that was it. I am on SSI and have not been able to hold a job due to what docs called  major depression (and several other dx's as well) (but what I knew was my need to be in my stories) since I was 19.

 

My stories are very elaborate, I have certainly lived in them for long enough! But it has only been in the past 4 years that I have lived in them almost constantly.  Since my kids are grown,  and I don't work, I am alone all the time. And with SSI I have the "luxury" (lol!) of spending all my time in them. It isn't unusual for me to spend 16 hours a day in "my world".  It has gotten so addictive, that I am jarred when I am in the "real" world.  I can tell the difference between reality and fantasy, I just spend so much time in fantasy that the "realness" or "ugliness" of reality hits me hard after a really long "story" session.  My world is so awesome!!! And most important, "I" am so awesome in my world! But here, I am just an obese, mentally and physically ill 41 year old who will never save the world, will never have eternal love, will never have enduring passion/ beauty/ special abilities. (my world is heavily fantasy based). 

 

I don't know if I can or will ever let them go. But I wanted to say, "Hi! I really do exist!" and if anything I say helps anyone  at all, then I am a little closer to being like my alter ego and that's a happy thing!

 

I hope everyone has a good and safe New Years. In whatever world we are in! :-)

 

Diane

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Bravo!  It takes guts to share, but it feels better doesn't it?  I hope you have fun tonight with your daughter.  Sounds like she's got a great role model.  :)