HI

[Sarah Araújo]

Hello everyone!

My name is Sarah, I´m from Brazil so sorry about my english. It´s my first time talking here.....and it feels....strange. Until last year i had no idea that my dreams had a name. I´m 20 years and live with MDD since 5... i guess. I really don´t remember, i think i just have memories with the drems already here. Well, I just wanna say hello and i´m really happy to find all you and this site. :)

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Yea, I did this stuff for many years. I really regret it though. People catch me doing it all the time. They wonder if I'm listening to them. I would've had a fulfilling life today, if it weren't for MD. 

[Sarah Araújo]

I understand you. Everyday I lost hours of my life in the dreams, time that I could be using to study, stay with my friends, my girlfriend....This year will be my fourth try to enter in a medicine college, because i can´t stay hours sit in a chair studying. It frustrates me a lot.

Jessica Ballantyne said:

Yea, I did this stuff for many years. I really regret it though. People catch me doing it all the time. They wonder if I'm listening to them. I would've had a fulfilling life today, if it weren't for MD. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

This morning I woke up in my room feeling uneasy in a rather unpleasant way. I realized I spent way more time in MD than focusing on more important things, such as taking my education more seriously and paying more attention to people. Not only this, but I've become an extremely quiet person who nobody can possibly be friends with. I pictured if I entered the crowd once again, they'd suddenly all be talking about me, because the first impression I give them is that "I don't talk." Living in my head did this to me overtime. At first, I believed the MD was promising a happier future, when really, it screwed me over. It lied to me the whole time and gave me a scare later on. I learned sadly that if I hadn't been sucked into my daydreams, my present would've looked so much better. I could've had a partner and a few friends—perhaps even a kid. 

Everybody was witnessing my MD too, and when my mom found it, she wanted to put me into psychiatry. They didn't seem to care that I did this because I wasn't satisfied in life and found it very hard to fit in or get something I need. They didn't even care about me at all. They just found me too weird for words. 

I did manage to attend art & design school, and when I earned my degree, I looked forward to a bright future. Instead, it was all vice versa. Mom was appalled I did do MD and told me I'll never keep a job. In a way, that came true. I had a number of contracts that didn't last for various factors, such as communication, work ethic, speed, professionalism and critical thinking. Of course I could've helped change all this, but it was still hard in the work force, and I didn't do well as I thought. 

I also wasn't much of a social butterfly. So I had very few friends. I didn't learn how to drive, because of my daydreaming. So I spent a majority of my leisure hours walking around the south west edge of my town, to the lake and back homeward. It has gotten monotonous at some point. All of my peers were already living significant adult lives, with cars, partners and houses. 

So, it's great your trying to get into medical school and don't give up. That sounds like a very exciting occupation. Don't let anybody talk against you. This is what you want to do. Good luck. 

[Sarah Araújo]

Hi Jessica. 

Well, when i read your text i really FEEL every word, fear and moment that you felt lost. I  don´t know what to say, when i finished i just wanted to hug you and say " hey! don´t worry, we´ll be fine, let´s be friends". I really wish i could do that. I know that  you´re feelling bad now, but it´s never  too late for us to start living, don´t lose hope.  I really see you, me or anybody here one day reaching our goals, with a good job, friends and our new family. Reality is a little more difficult for us....but not impossible to be lived. Our mind is unique and we´ll live a unique life. Talk to me whenever you want.

Let´s be friends. :)

Jessica Ballantyne said:

This morning I woke up in my room feeling uneasy in a rather unpleasant way. I realized I spent way more time in MD than focusing on more important things, such as taking my education more seriously and paying more attention to people. Not only this, but I've become an extremely quiet person who nobody can possibly be friends with. I pictured if I entered the crowd once again, they'd suddenly all be talking about me, because the first impression I give them is that "I don't talk." Living in my head did this to me overtime. At first, I believed the MD was promising a happier future, when really, it screwed me over. It lied to me the whole time and gave me a scare later on. I learned sadly that if I hadn't been sucked into my daydreams, my present would've looked so much better. I could've had a partner and a few friends—perhaps even a kid. 

Everybody was witnessing my MD too, and when my mom found it, she wanted to put me into psychiatry. They didn't seem to care that I did this because I wasn't satisfied in life and found it very hard to fit in or get something I need. They didn't even care about me at all. They just found me too weird for words. 

I did manage to attend art & design school, and when I earned my degree, I looked forward to a bright future. Instead, it was all vice versa. Mom was appalled I did do MD and told me I'll never keep a job. In a way, that came true. I had a number of contracts that didn't last for various factors, such as communication, work ethic, speed, professionalism and critical thinking. Of course I could've helped change all this, but it was still hard in the work force, and I didn't do well as I thought. 

I also wasn't much of a social butterfly. So I had very few friends. I didn't learn how to drive, because of my daydreaming. So I spent a majority of my leisure hours walking around the south west edge of my town, to the lake and back homeward. It has gotten monotonous at some point. All of my peers were already living significant adult lives, with cars, partners and houses. 

So, it's great your trying to get into medical school and don't give up. That sounds like a very exciting occupation. Don't let anybody talk against you. This is what you want to do. Good luck. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Sure Sarah, we can be friends. You can join my friends list if you want. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Just, please quit. After you do, it will change the way you think about life. 

[Sarah Araújo]

i´m trying. I really am. 

Jessica Ballantyne said:

Just, please quit. After you do, it will change the way you think about life. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

It's no wonder I daydreamed. People usually don't like me—i don't come off as interactive. They aren't even sure they trust me. They keep on doing this too. It's rather cold. I don't fit in. 

[Sarah Araújo]

but i´m here and I understand you. I´m sorry that existed people in your life who decrease you, but thats not my intention or anyone on this site. Search people that understand you, you deserve that.

Jessica Ballantyne said:

It's no wonder I daydreamed. People usually don't like me—i don't come off as interactive. They aren't even sure they trust me. They keep on doing this too. It's rather cold. I don't fit in. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I will, it's just been rough. My whole life I met crowds who didn't. But I'm going to search for people who understand. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I wish that I told my parents in advance (long ago) what was going on in my head. But I didn't think it mattered, and I'd still have a normal future. I had a content beginning with some ups and downs. I was bright and healthy, but couldn't seem to connect well with other people. I am very smart and think a lot. Whereas everybody else is sort of shallow and talks exuberantly. I had no idea I'd end up in real trouble as an adult—or still live on the same grounds I grew up in. Coming of age, I believed I'd get out there, see things and grow. Only trouble is because I was daydreaming excessively, it actually slowed me down and kept me back. I wasn't paying attention. Unfortunately, my mom found out about my DD and didn't like it one bit. 
She thinks I can't go anywhere and do anything out there, without her knowledge and consent. Even in my 30's. 

I'm glad that I found you on this website. Did you hear that Wild Minds is closing?

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I've been doing MD for as long as I can remember. Now that it stopped in my mid-thirties. I realize whatever world I was living in was fake. Now I'm looking at Earth. But it's going to take me years to like what I'm seeing. It's as if MD tinted my life experiences with something special over top. Like a blanket of glittery star dust. I'm ashamed to share this with anybody who knows how to be here. So I'll keep my mouth shut. But it's so mortifying. Only my family knows my secret. 

All the same, I feel stunned that I spent my youth believing utter nonsense. I awaited a real relationship with a guy for years, and a dream career, only to find out, friends and success don't come out of MD. Everything in your life takes effort. If I was told this when I was a teen, I probably would've been fine. It's just waiting to here this so late that bothers me.