Have you experienced this?

[David Burkett]

It seems like ever since I discovered what MD I have displaying the symptoms even more than before. Alot of it is I'll be in a room by myself pacing, whispering, gesturing, at my thoughts on MD disorder. Can anyone relate?

[David Burkett]

Perhaps I need to push myself to stop. I feel like I want to do it even more now that I know what it is. My worse fear is doing it in a room that could possibly have surveillance cameras or hidden cameras. Alot of times I will do it alone in an elevator and then I notice a surveillance camera in the elevator

[Silver Swan]

I daydreamed since I was a very young child, even an infant, so my parents noticed I'd stare up laughing at a ceiling, pacing in circles in the living room, talking to imaginary people in my bedroom, screaming my shrill head off at day mares, hiding under furniture from imaginary enemies, dancing wildly in the backyard regarding a favorite musical scene I watched in a cartoon. My mom eventually took me to psychiatry because of my twitching and inappropriate emotional reactions. I calmed and normalized by the time I started first grade, where I attended a private school in a new hometown my parents moved me to at age 6.

It wasn't until I turned 12 or 13 that I was once again showing signs of being a excessive day dreamer. My regular day dreams turned into full-bloom fantasy worlds, making my brain believe that they existed. My emotional outbursts were started to be noticed in 8th grade, where students found me constantly laughing my head off for nothing. They themselves imitated what I looked like when my eyes rolled up at the ceiling while I was laughing and wondered why I was doing this, assuming that I had imaginary friends. It was extremely hard to build friendships in high school, because everybody was snooty and self-centered, so they constantly saw me as a freak that didn't fit in. Likewise, they didn't agree with how quiet and weird I was, constantly gossiping about me in classrooms and hallways. I couldn't remember a dull moment where I didn't get bullied in high school. Needless to say, I sometimes whispered to my day dreams too, so this ultimately made students think I was pretty crazy.
I won't even go there with dating—"I was such a loser."

Growing up in the real world didn't make things any better. I attended college to study Art, but still didn't make many friends. To make matter dense, the art students could see my inappropriate laughing and notice I'd stare off into space, so they felt very uncomfortable to be around me. On a road trip, an overbearingly critical student I was with noticed my eyes randomly shut, during a night walk in the city, stepped in front of me and abruptly went "Boo!" in a really insensitive way. I made an excuse that I was sleepy, so she said, "Go get some coffee. You need coooofeee. Coooofeee." Another time, we were chilling to bed in our hostel, she happened to sleep underneath my top bunk. She was doing her studying and I was listening to music. When suddenly, I got frustrated and had a thought about my dad's demanding pursuit for me to get real and serious about my education and future. So I spoke out, "He's right," without know it. Music was blaring in my ears, so I didn't realize I was thinking out loud. Suddenly I heard, "Whose right...whose right?" asked this student from below, cocking her head to stare directly at me from below. "My dad," I replied. "Oooookey," she answered, slowly moving back into her snug position.

Turning 24 and graduating with a BA in Design, I thought that I was off an a nice start. Then an incident at home changed my outlook on everything. I didn't pass my dad's phone call to mom, as he was flying back home from a London business trip. Mom found out and was so furious that she told me I'll never be successful in a career and should stick to my art. She told me I was unperceptive of the world and couldn't see beyond my front driveway. In other words, she didn't think I'd ever be a real grown up. Disturbingly enough, this wasn't bullshit, and her concern actually became a reality.

I spent the next eight years struggling to hold down a job that would last a long time and failed to earn my independence. To be honest, in some of the jobs I held, employers and co-workers have caught me laughing and talking at nothing. During a lunch break, a manager that was training me caught me making faces, flinching my eyes open and shut, appearing as if I would pass out. So, she wailed so loudly for the print shop owner to hear, and they was placed in my reports before I got terminated a couple weeks later.

These days I am a self-employed freelance that works at home. So you see, people notice everything, no matter how much you try to hide the day dreams.