Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Go outside jogging and feel the fresh air, the noise of the other people, and generally, this life that isn't as comfortable and numb as fantasy.
MD is like a "dog's life": full of comfort, trust, and sunny places in secure locations. But it would be best if you lived a human life, full of uncomfortable, scary things, and do the things you as a human can do. This frustration is fake. To deal with the frustration, you've got to go and experience the real emotions!
PS. don't listen to music whilst jogging, obviously ;)
The answer is Yes. I do feel frustrated that my dreams did not come true. The emotions were so strong in my mind and body when I did MD. The dreams Lied to me about my future. Sad part is that I believed whatever's been going on in my head, to an extent I expected things to happen for real. After waking up, I realized they were all a made up mixed-bag of emotions, imagery, sounds and sensations that existed ONLY in my head.
I realize the problem is that I didn't take action and make my desires a reality. And I'm so damn mad. I used to just sit around and stare into space, or walk about the lakefront and talk to imaginary voices. Friends didn't come out of my head, and I should've socialized and payed attention like most normal people. Not sure if it was social phobia, but I made myself look so damn ridiculous.
I don’t get frustrated, as such, but I do get disappointed. My dream life is so much more safe and satisfying than real life. I think I build expectations in my dream life and then feel let down by reality.
Also, I’ve noticed that the people I know each know a different version of me based upon my level of trust in them. Some know I deal with MD, others do not. Some know deeper degrees of my MD. I get frustrated because I feel that nobody knows the real, genuine, messed up person I actually am. It can feel as if I am living another complete lie - both MD and the diffferent versions of myself people get to interact with.
Ever since I quit daydreaming, years later, I'm very taken aback. It's as though, maladaptive daydreaming filtered my perception towards the world and life itself. To a degree that many people have found my behaviour and intake on everything, through my own clouded lenses, just beyond and weird for their likings. In better words, they all felt I lived on another planet. Like my ideas and thoughts were just strange. Effecting my actions to even how I communicated with others and comprehended whatever was going on around me. They often drew up questions, mostly "Why?" Although, I thought I was fine, they didn't know I was under the influence of maladaptive daydreaming.
I grew up in an area all my life. I often found it the heart of my lively inhabitancies—like any familiar home we call our own. I seemed to be so emotionally attached to this place, I didn't know much else, really. Although most of my friends and peers moved on with their lives to other worldly parts, I stayed put here like I was stubborn. It's come to a point where I finally grew out of this familiar area. I lost all attachment and interest in this place. Regardless, I am shocked at how tunnel visioned I used to be, and closed minded that there's a whole world out there, and most people I've grown up with got out there to embrace years in advance. While, I was walking about in some funny trance, living in imaginary worlds and "growing down" in a place that served me no good prosperities. My point is if I hadn't daydreamed my head off, I would've lived better, accomplished things and visited new places I've never seen, and just stop deserting myself.
So I am frustrated that what I intended to see in my future didn't come into fruition. My daydreams made it impossible for me to make things work and happen for real. I feel like I wasted my time and my life. Good thing is I learned a lot, and I'm still only in my thirties. I can bring forward what I learned from my big fuck ups.
Great reply! I completely understand so much of what you talked about.
mostly the last paragraph though. I feel as if I have wasted so much time being more satisfied in my MD life that I have missed out on actually living . What’s even odder is that so much of what I only dreamed about is stuff that could have actually happened if I just made it happen.
the other day I had a conversation with a friend about going on a vacation. I told her I prefer car trips because I can turn off the radio and spend the day daydreaming without interruption from others on a plane. How screwed up is that!?!?!
Exactly, I dreamed about many things that could've taken place if I had just stayed awake and made sure it will happen. I once thought my dreams will just take me there *seriously.* It's no wonder I was crushed at the unflattering results. Get real and grow up. Make an action plan and invest in your roundabout. My head was in a mist as a young person. It strikes me that I didn't realize the harm of what I was doing.
Same goes for relationships. I always wanted to be in a relationship, and I never made this happen either. I believed somebody was going to materialize out of the blue, like in a movie. When really I had no way of interacting with people, approaching them right and paying attention to them, and opening my mouth to show them, "I am a smart person who can speak." I just did absolutely nothing, and daydreamed and sat with myself, all these years. It's quite sad.
It is a sad situation, but that doesn’t mean we are bad or somehow inadequate people. We are dealing with an issue. I plan to just keep working at it like any other condition people might have.
conversatios like this one give me strength to keep working on it and help me remember that I’m not alone. Together we are stronger.
I am thankful to get to talk about it with people like you who understand.
If I wanted someone, I could've done something about this. I was introvert, so instead I sat around and dreamed for hours. I thought things will pop up if I dreamed about them enough. Today, I realize this is bogus.
Oh, I get it. Yea, we aren’t ever gonna make the dream turn into reality. I never thought about it that way. I have always used the dream life to replace the idea of the reality. I think it’s because I, also, have been introverted and my reality has usually been unsatisfying. I have met a woman, dated and had better full blown relationships in dreamland rather than in real life. The funny things we do.
Same with me. I have never been in a real steady relationship. I was too quiet around people, and it just disgruntled them all away. Even my closest friends made remarks. I thought to myself, "how bad can my future be." It looked exactly the same, I was pretty foolish to think it will all just go away. Now I'm sorry I didn't work hard to solve my problem, instead of just daydreaming about it. And I was told many times to stop it, so there you go. You have a point. Yes, our fantasy lives do look so much better.
Apparently, people got turned off by the fact I was daydreaming. And I was so quiet, many repeatedly asked if I was tired or in a bad mood, or thinking. They simply didn't find me normal. I was just exceptional that way. I'm not your average society woman, so sounds and acts like everybody else. It frustrates me that I never met someone as exceptional as I am, probably because I didn't even try. I was always on my computer.
I have been lucky to find a couple of people over the years that I can feel comfortable with - really just 2. But for some reason they’ve never seemed uncomfortable with my shyness or introversion. I often wonder whether it’s realistic to believe I will ever change enough to “fit in” with a social group, or whether I should be searching for others like me to spend time with. Because, frankly, there is so much about me that I do not want to change; I think I am compasssionate, I think I am patient with others, I think I am loyal and encouraging and other qualities which are good. So, I wonder how much of me that I like might disappear if I find a way to change from who I am to who I think i would rather be.
I have an annual pass to a local zoo and I go there several days a week to just walk. It has occurred to me many times that there are so many different animals that I look at with wonder because they are all so different from each other and I realize how much the world would seem less bright, diminished if any of them didn’t exist. Why should we feel any differently about ourselves?
You have a local zoo! Lucky you! I see your point. People just don't get us, and they're uncomfortable with the vast differences that separate them from us. They're in the norm, and we are gifted and interesting.