Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
or do you regret all of the years that have passed by? ive been doing this since i was 12 and am now 26. do you think this effects ever having real relationships or for me anyway-i had a lot of trauma growing up and in a way i feel like i cant function without the people in my head because even if they ''hurt'' me ill still be ''fine''
I understand what you mean. I've been doing it ever since i can remember from a young age and im in my 20's also. I feel it affects my relationship with my boyfriend...like im distancing myself with him, because i'm in some "other alternative reality", which i enjoy so much, and i see it as a double life. so what ever story is going on in my own true life, i also have a continuing life in my other reality.
I also had trauma growing up, i don't like to call it that, because i try to forget about it, and i'm trying to heal myself from it all, and i want to try and live life. It is hard because everyday i just disappear into another world, and if i don't do it, if i don't get the chance to, i get upset. I have to find time to do it, due to the fact i have an emotional attachment to the people who are in this other reality.
It's understandable about feeling how you can't function without these people, because its a way of escaping, and is enjoyable. I guess its a case of trying not to distance yourself too much from the real world. As you've said, you feel time is going too quickly if your spending too much time away, and for me it got to the point i was daydreaming for the whole day, for three days straight in my room (with sleep of course).
And when you realise you've been doing it for so long, it can seem a bit like, woah....did i really just do that! I don't regret it, its more of a case of worrying i may push people away.
I was bullied and I got hurt, so I daydream to make myself feel better. I am fine with it as long as it doesn't control my life.
i'm not necessarily blaming MDD on ALL matters , just in terms of the years passing by and not making real connections with people along the way-even when i did the connections were temporary and based on other destructive things i have done-I guess i am who i am at my core too, BUT this maybe amplifies the negative side? yet its a safe place? idk lol
Anette Lesley said:
I used to think a lot about that and i don't think my life would be much different if didn't do it. I'd still be anxious introvert lol I doubt I'd do so many things without it, like being very social, having tons of friends, got multiple degrees or something. that would be deceiving myself and blaming everything on md.
I was hurt by real people quite much. But when I rethink of it , it probably be me that too emotional and sensitive which of course I can't help it for being such an emotional person. So I have many relationship problem with my friends and I regret about it cos now I have a very few friends and often be lonely.
I have many regrets about this. When I started as a child, it was a way to escape an abusive environment but later it became an addiction. When I first graduated from school, I wanted to join the Air Force and learn to fly. I was so close, I almost joined. Took the tests and passed, etc. But instead I married a man I didn't love who also abused me when he was drunk so I spent the next 8 years living in a daydream. What I should have done was divorce him immediately - join the Air Force - and make my dream my reality. But instead I lived in my head. Huge waste of my life. (I eventually did divorce him thank goodness!)
I'm 48, and I've been doing this ever since I became obsessed with a guy in high school. I just learned about MD yesterday. I never would have guessed that MD may have stemmed from the abuse & bullying that I suffered in my childhood.
I always thought daydreaming was perfectly normal, and I always wondered why doesn't everyone have an active fantasy life like me?
My MD hasn't had any negative affect on my 26-year marriage. My husband occassionally gets annoyed with me obsessing over certain actors (the stars of my daydreams) but we've never had any fights over this.
i'm perfectly fine doing this. yes, it has affected my life in positive and negatives ways but my DD is all that i have. my real life sucks a lot, so it's good to have a place to escape.
I'm fine with this too. There have been periods in my life where I'm sure I was overdoing it as a way to escape, but these days, it's just for fun, I don't overindulge in it, and I find it enriches my life.
I'm also really glad to find that I obviously am not the only one in the world who does this. Up until now (I'm 37), I really did think I was kind of a freak of nature, and thought it was just a unique quirk of mine. I've never shared it with anyone. I've read through the forums, and I see that posts like these are a dime a dozen, so here's one more. I have done this since I was five, and have built up 100s of characters in my head over the past 30+ years. Some are my own, and some are characters from books and movies.
I kind of regret it...but if I didn't have it, I'd probably still be living the same dull reality. Never dding wouldn't have changed me from being me - know what I mean? I'd still be the same person and I wouldn't have any way to escape that.
The thing I regret most is not being there (completely) for the people I love. I feel like I've cheated them, not being the attentive wife, daughter, friend that I should be. As for me, I enjoy my fantasy world immensely. I do regret it but not for me but for those in my life that I care about.