Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Basically, my maladaptive daydreams don't revolve around me. They revolve around another character who is most essentially me, except he is male and a different ethnicity. I haven't opened up to an expert about this but I believe that this may have been caused by childhood trauma and dissociation, which makes it difficult for me to imagine myself
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I have often tried to seperate myself from the charachter in my head by calling her something else. Thinking this is more heatlhy or normal, (which it is not.) I need a certain amount of realism for the fantasy to work. If I daydream about dating an actor, he can't be married or have a girlfriend. OR I have to go through a process of putting him through a divorce/ breakup before I start pretend dating him. It's so weird.
I have about 10 different "main characters" that I have separate story lines for. I have named one after myself, however egotistical that sounds, but she's not really me. All of my characters are the ideal. I find it very difficult to give them flaws because in my mind, they're supposed to be the best that could possibly exist, and it hurts because I know that there's no one in real life that's like that. It's also hard for me to share my stories because I feel like they're an important part of me, but my mom (who's trying to help me through this) says that I need to let them all go...
I used to have a "main character" that was an alternative of myself. She had a very refined accent and was attractive. She was smart, talented, bold and very interesting. She had no problems with finding new relationships, but I did.
I even tried to talk just like her in real live public, but people thought I was British, and others thought I had no sensor of humor. My voice had a deep serious tone with slurs here and there.
Anyway, I stopped daydreaming that much, so I'm waking up to me. It is so embarrassing looking back at how much I lived in my head and how often my mind was taken over by this character, and so many others.
I used to have a "main character" that was an alternative of myself. She had a very refined accent and was attractive. She was smart, talented, bold and very interesting. She had no problems with finding new relationships, but I did.
I even tried to talk just like her in real live public, but people thought I was British, and others thought I had no sensor of humor. My voice had a deep serious tone with slurs here and there.
Anyway, I stopped daydreaming that much, so I'm waking up to me. It is so embarrassing looking back at how much I lived in my head and how often my mind was taken over by this character, and so many others.
I used to get manipulated at school and work. My family and peers used to think I was deaf, because I couldn't hear their words.
I had to see this just to clarify what you meant by other than yourself. Cause I didn't know if it meant in your daydreams you were someone else or there was another main character along side you...Not really sure why I thought that. But honestly I don't recall ever being me in my daydreams, granted that I don't remember a lot very well from far back, but the ones I do remember I was someone else. Many times I've been an already established fictional character, other times a sort of canon character which was really just a mix of my own ideas and a canon character, but most of the time a character I created, and while many of them vary in traits there are a couple things that have been consistent, such as having a devoted lover, being attractive, and physically strong, you know things you generally want. Of course the same daydreams would also be REALLY dark, but that's another story. However, I actually had DID which just adds another really complicated layer.
The main character of mine is also a self-insert, perfect version of me but he also has a clone (I know, it’s crazy) who I sometimes create a whole other story for him but my brain can never stick to it.
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