Where wild minds come to rest
Hi I have a question in regards to what you guys daydream about? I am 21 soon, and I also have this problem of daydreaming when I don't want to! Like...theres things that need be done so it distresses when it gets really, out of control. I have been trying to stop since I was 11 years old so it hasn't stopped completely. But these days if I write it out, meditate and keep these habits up (which is a challenge in itself - particulary with buddhist meditation) I can control that 'daydreaming mode/desire' and put it aside to do whatever else I need to do.
Through journal writing I realized all my excessive daydreaming often evovle around men?LOL. that sounds crazy like it's some teenage fantasy or desperate women (it's not) but let me explain. Its revolves around the idea of love, receiving someone's attention, desire to have the same social freedom as other ppl my age, popularity/acceptance/fashion and friends. Those are the base themes of which entire, intricate events and scenarious are constructed around. I suppose some of these link to my unhappiness as a child and emotional neglect from my father - whom I found overbearing and this distressed me greatly as a child. So I was wondering, if you are willing to share, what themes/stuff do you daydream about?
Thank you for making this website by the way. It's interesting the term 'maladaptive daydreaming' has come about and I can't believe there are others who do similar things to me while daydreaming...such as pacing. Makes me think this may be some 'behaviour' that should have it's own name.
i dont think so... id be so bored!! i mean i spend hours doing this so what would i do with all that spare time ha!! i think we're amazing people if we can just entertain ourselves for hours and not desperately need anyone around like some people do. id like to see what other "normal" people live like maybe just for a day.
Ive always thought of it as like my 'Drop dead fred' where it comes back and stays for longer when i really need it the most. it must be a coping mechanism of some kind maybe because reality isnt so good. I always wondered what pills it was that the girl in the film took at the end to get rid of fred and i thought maybe i could try some of them haha... but also in that film she battled some past demons with her father leaving and her mum being a superbitch so maybe thats why her fred left. i know that sounds crazy but its how i justify it to myself how much of my life ive wasted so far.
I would give anything to wake up tomorrow and have this gone. i have been fantasising compulsively for 30 years and as a result have none of the things in my life that a normal middle aged woman would have. anytime i wanted success, money, a family, a career etc i could find it all - in my head, i never needed to work for anything, risk failure, loss - it was all in 'la la land' where i have spent the majority of my time over those 30 years.
The most success i am having is to address this using 12 step work - i also have issues with alcohol (and with food) and attend a 12 step fellowship. I see my addiction to fantasising as EXACTLY the same thing as my addiction to alcohol - just more difficult to address because the compulsion means it is always immediately available, unlike substances you can avoid taking. This 'disorder' has blighted my life, ruined my life almost but i do understand that at the time i took it up, it was a much needed escape, a coping mechanism, maybe even saved my sanity when i was very young and unable to cope with pressures of dysfunctional family life. I have been amazed at finding forums online that discuss the issue - for years and years it has been my most shameful secret; i never thought i would find another human who did the same things as me. I would point out as well that i hear fantasising, even compulsive fantasising mentioned fairly often in 'the rooms' of AA. There is no doubt it is an addiction. Good to hear everyone.. K